Tag Archive for: fear of public speaking
Paths to success.
Paths to a future – one you can see, plan for,
or maybe one you cannot see, but are drawn to anyway.
Paths to a new type of speaking, a new confidence and success.
In times like these – of change, or uncertainty – we need a path to take, a way forward. We’ve been held back in lots of ways, but I think now is the time to step onto that path.
EXPLORE has been one of my key words since I started the long haul process of redesigning my life 5 or so years ago – exploring the paths, choosing which fork to take, sparking creativity from all the views along the way.
STORY is another.
And since it has been either the desire for success or the combined story/public speaking that has drawn you to me, or me to you, you will know that it has taken me some time to work out just what that means –
Which path?
Which direction?
Well, I have explored story in a dozen different ways – and learnt from that.
I have also explored ways to a better life – and learnt from that.
And it continues.
Wouldn’t it be good if we had all the answers RIGHT NOW?
Well no, darn it. That’s not the way this works!
But I do have lots of dreams to work towards now,
and have decided to step onto the path beginning with tried and true which is my experience of speaking and supporting speakers
but with a very new pathway to tread now – one based on story.
And I do so hope you will join me.
Let’s walk it together,
creating that new way,
of getting your story, your voice, your message aligned, so that your mindset, content and delivery are strong
of facing and dissolving any blocks that are holding you back
and creating presentations that create your future -the future you, your future best life.
This is an invitation to join me …
if you have blocks around speaking,
need to learn the basics of confidence, fluency and skills,
or to return to a few basics you feel you need to polish,
you can learn more here
I look forward to getting together, sharing stories, and creating that new path to success, whatever you perceive it to be.
Did it happen to you?
It did to me.
I was giving my first ever speech to a new audience.
I had had one audience for a while and they were so supportive. Responding positively, giving me lots of validation.
And then I presented to a new audience,
feeling confident. I’d done this before. All good.
And then the feedback.
It’s a long time ago, and there was possibly something positive said, but the thing that I have never forgotten, was being told that I swayed.
I was flummoxed.
I swayed?
And I learned:
Not all audiences think I’m wonderful, and in fact they’re probably looking for mistakes
and
I couldn’t trust my body. It wasn’t all about the words, after all, there was a body to control as well.
The second feedback person –
OK. I’ll come clean
it was a teacher
in Year 2
and I was actually reciting a poem.
At home, I had doting parents who taught me, from a family history of loving words and performing poetry. They taught, they modelled and gave me loving support.
The teacher at school … not QUITE the same.
And I have never forgotten that.
I know now that there was no inkling beforehand that a body was involved as well as voice,
and there was the concept of judgement, not necessarily preceded by training and not necessarily giving a way forward to deal with the suggestion for improvement.
Meh, she was a year two teacher in a country school and that was how most training and teaching was done.
But I had that fear of public speaking embedded early.
Hated public speaking ever after.
Unfortunately, given the early grounding, I was also good at it (despite the threat of swaying 🙂
I went on to represent my schools in local-district-state competitions in public speaking and debating
and then from the public speaking club I joined later on as an adult – again representing club, district and state.
AWAYS nervous. ALWAYS. And as the stakes got higher the fear of public speaking and nerves got higher as well.
This was judgement at its highest level. This was necessary control of body, mind and energy at the highest level.
So I had carried it into my adult life, that belief that public speaking was always about audiences who judged – standing on those stages, in the spotlight, being judged – an incredibly challenging vulnerability – one that I know is also challenging to so many people I have supported, coached, mentored.
Back then, all I knew to do was to drop out of the competitive speaking environment. I got off the hamster wheel, not knowing what was needed, just knowing that there had to be a change.
And eventually I realised the mistaken assumption.
It took years, sorting out what was going on – adrenalin, nerves, and just what was behind my public speaking – knowing that it had to be something that came from a different place than that competitive judgement-driven mindset.
I came to realise that most ordinary audiences really don’t care much about faults and faux pas, especially if you don’t make a big deal of them.
They don’t care about perfection, they care about trusting you to care about them.
Trusting that you have THEIR interests at heart.
All of us who speak, whether we are educating, inspiring, selling or passionately changing the world, right outside any competitive field, we are being considered on one single overriding criterion,
and all audiences are the same.
That criterion is “Do you care about me and my needs?”
So in my speeches, I haven’t changed the messages, or the words, I simply created the Trust Formula to weave into those, and it changed everything.
I saw audiences following along, nodding and beaming with the same sudden understandings. But best of all I felt confident. The nerves dissipated and I knew I had a formula that would make my audiences and myself have faith in what I had for them.
I changed how I presented my messages.
Please know there’s nothing wrong with your vulnerability challenge. We all feel it. And know that the answer lies in the way your present your material – laced with the Trust Formula – that you can present without bragging, and that you do care.
If you want to build that strength in vulnerability, the confidence and skills that makes great speakers, then you can join my Pivotal Public Speaking group program – and build the Foundations of Public Speaking.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions you have as well.
Some of us are natural speakers at work.
Some of us are not.
For some of us it feels natural to speak up, chat on any subject, create a personal brand and credibility in our work place.
For some of us it is a challenge that we would rather not face.
It’s partly natural skill, partly personality and for some it is training and practice.
For the rest of us, it means, fear, challenge and avoiding public speaking at all costs.
Oftentimes, public speaking is seen as formally standing up before a crowd and deivering a speech. But the skills and techniques can be applied to group conversations at the lunch table, explaining a new project to a team, reporting in the board room, pitching for funds or support, delivering a town hall, or conducting a weekly meeting.
They all require that same ability, confidence and commitment that the formal speech to an audience requires.
I had developed competency in public speaking before I began my career, so I was very grateful for the skill, and sometimes it was useful in the most unexpected places.
It was no problem for me to present our department/my department’s position at staff meetings, and to pitch for its consideration.
It was no problem for me to present to groups on behalf of the organisation.
But then I had already been through the challenges of public speaking nerves, already been through the stage fright and, already been through,at times, feeling almost paralysed facing a formal presentation.
I had been through the humiliating challenge of finding, well into a presentation, that my material was not what that audience needed. Fortunately they were forgiving and I was flexible enough to turn the presentation around and be really useful, but it was a hit to my confidence and I learned from it, and many other situations like it..
I had studied, taught and mentored in speech structure, body language and stage presence from school days.
So it gave me the confidence to stand and speak, use powerpoint and flip charts (and on occasion felt boards!!). And I was grateful for the skills and practice that I had.
It didn’t become quite so evident to me, just how much I appreciated having that behind me, though, until I had my first job interview after having children. I went back to work in my own field, highly qualified, and yet I was incredibly nervous. I hadn’t been for a job interview for decades, had no experience in them. I was given questions ahead of time and given 8 minutes to prepare. Fighting to get some sort of clarity and confidence, I suddenly thought of the public speaking basics – use the simple structure. Make your points with support. Remember the confident, relaxed body language, that works even when you are really nervous, and the grounding that brings confidence.
And it was the same when having reviews with my line managers and the CEO – prepare as much as possible, be confident in my knowledge and experience, make points with supports and use body language and grounding for calm confidence.
I cannot say it cured my nervousness altogether but it worked. I got the job!!
And that’s what I want to say to you. Once you have those skills, they take you to communication scenarios that you may have had no idea would use the same skills, but where you can excel, sharing your talent and experience.
If you have been reading this with increasing disquiet and disgust because the very thought of public speaking is beyond the pale, then here are 5 ways you can start building the skills you can use to support your success at work, and the growth of your career.
Forget the term “public speaking‘. It has too many associations and connections with a formal, judged, nerve-wracking performance.
Instead think of the basics of the outcome you want and what you bring to the communication.
You have talents, enthusiasms, opinions, skills and contributions you have made and can make in the future.
You have the need, the ambition to build your career.
Bring all of those into the equation and it becomes just a task to be done, a way of thinking.
Practise giving your opinion. It doesn’t have to be out loud, but if you can find an audience – a friend, a family, your cat – then give them your opinion on all sorts of weird and unexpected subjects.
Take the opposite view to your own. Argue for something absolutely ridiculous. Support that opinion with as many lies or facts as you can think of.
You will find your voice.
You will find that actually pleading a case for something where you actually are familiar with the subject matter,
at work, know the possible opinions of your audience, and what the current climate of opinion is, is relatively easy
after you have persuaded your cat or dog that we need to send a llama into outer space, or that burning the local soccer goal posts is useful for the community.
Practise listening and reading body language,
especially of those you may find challenging or whom you don’t like,
and thinking what it says about them – their opinions, needs, triggers –
and that they are normal human beings.
Practice and notice when you are using confident communication and what it feels like where it doesn’t matter so much –
dealing with a shop-keeper or check-out person,
phoning an institution to organise a refund or upgrade,
just chatting at work.
Take that feeling with you into the speaking or communication that has more of a challenge and where the outcomes matter.
Prepare as much as possible, for structured, concise, confident, and especially authentic presentations.
Be prepared to tell stories. They are powerful.
And if PowerPoint is a must, keep the text simple, and prepare as much as possible for use of the stage.
Remember always – Fumbles are not Failures.
Keep the authenticity, the confidence and the connection and they will be soon forgotten if they were noticed at all.
Not only will it mean you can briefly tell a boss about the work you do without feeling egotistical and awkward,
not only will it mean you can present to a group of colleagues or to an interview panel.
not only will it mean you can speak at a conference, train the new recruits, or accept an award.
You will also have the skills to implement the communication necessary to move a project to success.
You will also have the skills to confidently take part in videoconferencing.
But most importantly
you will build personal confidence and assertiveness that spills over into all areas of your life.
Take on small projects to start with, if possible,
and say “yes” to the opportunities.
Contact me if you have an opportunity you need some help with, or sign up for the free training on how to build great public speaking.
And enjoy the results.
Making speeches and presentations is a powerful way to influence, create change, get your message out there, make sales.
We know that power, you and I.
We know the feeling of communicating, connecting, making a difference, creating the difference.
And when we focus on that outcome,
then it becomes high stakes
“What if I forget the most important part of my speech?”
What if I use the wrong words?
I have written about it in many places – collected here…
but today I want to focus on one very simple, very effective way to set yourself up for overcoming this fear.
And that simple effective technique is the first thing we all should be doing before we even begin to create a speech.
That simple effective technique arose when I was brainstorming with a client last week, and I was reminded again of its power.
That simple effective technique is embodied in one word which will give you the confidence and the focus for your whole presentation.
And what I want to give you is three little questions you can use to find your one word.
Three little questions that will give you the focus you need.
Three little questions that will give you clarity.
Three little questions that will quiet the uncertainty, organically and easily.
Question 1:
If I were to ask you “What is your speech about – in one word – what would that word be?
What is the one word that you can use to encompass your speech?
What one word names the content of your speech?
It may be that that question is enough. You know right now, before you even begin what that word is.
If not…
Question 2:
What are you offering to your audience?
What is the outcome if they take the next step that you recommend?
What is your audience need that you can satisfy?
That do they want?
One word describes that offering, that outcome.
Question 3:
What is your expertise?
What one word describes your skill?
That one word will give you clarity of message.
It will give you the criteria for content inclusion.
Most importantly, for today, it will give you a piece of driftwood to cling to,
a spotlight that illuminates
when you need to absolutely ensure that your audience gets your message, follows your inspirational lead, and moves to the outcome you have chosen for them.
The words may be as diverse as
happiness
or
winning
or
freedom
or
control.
But that word has its own meaning for you, and connection to the message you want and the outcomes you want to achieve.
Hold that word as the very centre of your presentation
as the guiding light,
and it will help you overcome the fear of not saying what needs to be said.
Hold that word in the centre of your attention
and it will return you always to your message that is so important to you
and the outcome you are achieving.
Overcoming a fear of public speaking has many facets.
One of those facets is taking the fear apart and looking to see where it came from – looking into the past for clues.
Previous personal experience can affect our confidence in any situation.
Teasing of any sort can destroy confidence and if it was associated with public speaking then any chance of future confidence in public speaking will be shattered.
Thoughtlessly expressed feedback presented as criticism can do the same. A teacher, peer or parent can destroy confidence with unthinking negative comments.
If you find clues like that, then you are well on the way to overcoming it.
Finding a source in the past takes away the magic of the fear. You can apply logic to it.
Was the teasing justified? What was the motive for it? If it was justified and the motive was to bring you up to a standard, then you can work on changing the behaviour in your speaking that prompted it. If it wasn’t then you can dismiss it.
No, I didn’t say that was easy, but it can be done.
Giving feedback on a performance or activity is a valuable tool – but only if it is done with balance, sensitivity and appropriate motive. If it isn’t then it can be damaging and destructive.
Again, logic comes into play. Did the criticism in your past have a base in fact. Then address that fact.
Was it one-sided? Then find a way to get feedback on what your strong points might have been to provide balance and a sense of hope.
No, I didn’t say that was easy, but it can be done.
Even harder to address is the mindset that you may have adopted as a result.
One of the greatest sources of fears is of being judged.
That was mine.
I had a fault pointed out to me at the age of 7 … at school. Every piece of public speaking I did after that was at school – either to be marked out of 10 or graded or to win or lose a debate, or both. Judgement. Always. And for a normally high achiever at school that was a fearsome challenge.
I did well, and achieved, but always with fear.
Then I joined a speaking organisation whose programs were aimed at preparing speakers for speaking competitions. Judgement. Again – success but always with fear.
It wasn’t until I started speaking and running workshops at conferences and speaking to groups outside those confines that I felt I could escape the judgement and just be myself, communicating with an audience, and presenting them with something of use.
To me, the best cure for the fear is to believe that I have something of value and to focus on how that can help – to focus on expansive generosity rather than on a creation that is put up for judgement.
If you have a past experience that makes you fearful of public speaking, I would love to read about it in the comments, and even more so if you have fund a “cure” for it.
About that rash …
Yes that rash … the one you were telling me about at the networking meeting.
“Oh public speaking,” you said, “I hate public speaking. I always get that rash that spreads up my neck. So embarrassing! I have to wear a scarf!”
Is it because of the rash that you hate public speaking or is it that you hate public speaking and consequently get a rash?
Or is it that you don’t mind public speaking, or you wouldn’t mind public speaking? In fact you would probably enjoy it, but somewhere someone said something that gave you the idea that you would be judged every time you spoke or that the stakes are high every time you speak – be careful!
And that created stress. Stress releases cortisol and adrenaline into your system and both are known to affect the skin. Or it could be that you are having an allergic reaction caused by stress.
Either way you need to relieve yourself of the stress. That way you bring back the enjoyment you expect from public speaking and the freedom to speak without worrying about that rash.
And in this case, though not for everyone, it was caused by fear of being judged and fear of failure.
And what could you use, what thought pattern could you introduce, what story could you tell yourself so that you lost those fears?
The first step is to lose the focus on you. Yes I know there might be a rash, but there won’t be if you stop focussing on you, your being judged, your risks in the high stakes outcome.
The second step is to focus on having a conversation with our audience. Look at it as a stylised conversation, perhaps, but don’t call it “public speaking”. This is different, if only so that it’s no longer associated in your mind and adrenal glands with the ”thing” (“public speaking’) that causes the anxiety, the stress, the rash.
And in this conversation, just as in any conversation, engagement and connection occur naturally. Be a natural, not someone being judged on a performance.
And while you are focussing on that audience and the conversation, think about what you are doing for them. What are you giving them that they need or want or like? Start with the mindset of service, of win-win for you and them. Research them and uncover what they need/want/like and appreciate and then give that. Make them aware, and reassure yourself, that you are there to serve.
It is not about you. It is about your audience and your service to them.
So while the high stakes may involve making a sale or persuading or impressing, that sale, that persuasion, that impression will all be made so much easier and less stressful if you aim to serve and make it obvious that that is your aim. And the outcomes will be so much more abundant as well.
Win-win for all concerned.
Know that your new techniques will take away the feeling of being judged and the stress of high stakes outcomes. Know that all you need to do is know your audience, hold a stylised conversation with them and offer them service. And the anxiety drops. The stress drops. The adrenalin and the cortisol drop. The rash goes and public speaking becomes something to anticipate with pleasure.
You CAN do this!
…..
Now … about that adrenalin addiction – that adrenalin habit, the one you told me about at the dinner last night – ah that’s a whole other article…!
Maybe all you need is Disaster Management
You KNOW that speaking is a great way to share your brilliance with a wider audience, gaining you leads and clients for business, supporters for your ideas, more souls who need your inspiration (and just connecting with people).
But is something stopping you?
Public speaking nerves are normal and healthy, but not if they are stopping you sharing that brilliance.
There are all sorts of sources of those nerves and their paralysing effect and all sorts of ways to release them.
But sometimes it is as simple as taking a moment or two to define just what it is you are afraid of – what is allowing the paralysis.
It may be as simple as fear of disaster – of something going horribly wrong.
And step two may be just as simple. Set disaster management plans in place. Don’t court disaster, but just set stuff up so that you can visualise success, knowing that you have contingency plans in place.
So take that moment or two today and it may, indeed, be just that simple.
[Image source: http://vulkanschule.de/images/vulkanausbruch.jpg]
Cloak yourself in the attitude and face the danger zone of public speaking.
Last night, at a presentation I gave on speaking your story, someone muttered “Yeah … public speaking – the greatest fear of all!” We all laughed and empathised, and then shared our stories – speaking in public but not “public speaking.”
This morning on the way to the supermarket, I heard “Highway to the Danger Zone” remembering the thrill of the music, and the movie and the Tom Cruise persona …
… and then thought of that comment last night – facing public speaking for some people is like walking into a danger zone – a combat zone – a place where they feel they may have to fight to survive, and maybe it would be better to turn and run – right now!!
So let’s get our Tom Cruise on.
Before this goes any further, let me say I don’t know anything about Tom Cruise as a person beyond what the gossip columns tell me. I have never (well almost never) seen him in a movie except as a sexy, strong, cocky individual, with an appealing soft side. And I am well aware that there are all sorts of movie techniques that enhance that – not least pumping music like Kenny Loggins’. And here’s an audio to remind you just what that feels like.
What was it about Tom Cruise? Ah yes “sexy, strong, cocky, with an appealing soft side”!!
He was good and he knew it. Yes he loved speed, but he was also a good pilot. Want to get your Tom Cruise on? Be good, get good. Read this blog. Read other blogs. Get coaching. Watch other speakers and TED talks. Practise. Capture the moments when you know you are good, when you are in flow speaking, when you feel like a rock star. Rinse and repeat and find out ways to increase those moments. But most importantly, remember what they felt like and take that feeling with you, whenever you speak. That is getting your Tom Cruise on.
If I were to define “cocky” I would think it would involve the word “confidence”, and something to do with the body language of confidence. Looking like you are confident, moving like you are confident, talking like you are confident, works in two ways. Firstly it makes you feel confident. Those who work with laughter know that it is therapeutic. Laughing when you feel least like laughing lifts a mood and stimulates all sorts of therapeutic physiological changes. Acting “cocky” when you are feeling least confident changes your attitude and stimulates all sorts of therapeutic changes in your behaviour and especially in your presentation style. The second way that acting as if we are confident works is that people see confidence. In The Tom Cruise movie persona, this is sexy, attractive. We want to feel that way too. In our speaking situations, it inspires trust in the audience. They see a person who is confident in their knowledge, confident that they can communicate with this audience, and confident enough to be authentic throughout the experience. Do I suggest you be cocky? Not if it’s not your style. But do “Get your Tom Cruise on” if it means behaving with confidence.
Another part of the “cocky” definition would have to be the aspect of fun. Here is a person enjoying what they are doing. The Top Gun fliers enjoyed the need for speed. When the feeling of fear, of danger, appears as it does for all speakers, get your Tom Cruise on. The adrenalin is running because you are taking on a challenge. It’s good. It’s fun. You will achieve. You will also learn. Challenge is where we find flow. Challenge is also where the greatest learning happens. Turn the fear of fear into excitement at doing something that is going to feel so good (and if it doesn’t there will be fabulous lessons to learn. Unlike the pilots you are not facing complete obliteration!)
Before I wrote this article, I went to Youtube and watched a version of “Highway to the Danger Zone” that features clips of the movie. I didn’t watch it all the way through. You can watch it here if you want.
What I did notice, though, was the number of times Tom Cruise is featured with other people. Though it feels like we speak alone when we are on a stage or in front of an audience, we rarely are. “Cocky” needs an audience to enjoy it, to share the fun of it. There will be moments when you can share the “rock star” in-flow speaking moments with your audience. Watch a comedian as he delivers a punch line. Watch Brene Brown as she makes a humorous point. There is a connection with the audience that asks “See what I did there?” – not always, but enough to enable you to take your audience into the experience with you. You are not alone. Nor are you alone as a speaker who is learning to be a Tom Cruise. There are competitors, if you are the competitive type. There are close friends and allies. All are having their successes and failures. You can learn from them. You can support them. They can support you. Some of the failures will be absolutely devastating. But those failures, as I wrote before, are often the greatest learning opportunities, and also the greatest opportunities to bond tightly with colleagues and friends.
And that is one of the places where the “appealing soft side” of the Tom Cruise persona comes in.
Do I want you, or me, for that matter to be “sexy, strong, cocky, with an appealing soft side”? Not if that’s not you already. It’s not me. We are each unique, with our own unique story to tell and to share. But if Getting Your Tom Cruise On can change your attitude as you go into the Danger Zone of public speaking, makes you a superstar speaker, or even just the very best you that you can be right there and then, I will be applauding wildly as the lights dim and you leave the stage.
Image source: http://bit.ly/1npG58c
.
Sometimes it’s necessary to dig down to the roots of our fear of public speaking. And there can be a lot of those, but if you dig them out, one by one, confidence grows.
Does fear of public speaking run in your family?
I’m not sure if there is a genetic cause for this but I do know that if you have seen your parents or a family member speaking or performing confidently in public, then you will most likely see it as something you can do too. But if you see fear and aversion to public speaking then you will probably adopt that as part of your culture as well.
So it may be time to kick it out of your culture again, disown it. You could have a “coming out” party where you announce to your family that, in fact, you are a confident pubic speaker, and even though that is so different to everything they believe in, you just have to go ahead with it. Can’t do that in real life? Then do it in your head. It’s just as effective.
Otherwise … rebel! Imagine yourself dressed in something absolutely outlandish – entirely different from your family’s normal, raising your fist in the air and speaking with confidence – the “rock star” speaker you always dreamed you could be.
You will know what works for you when it comes to being independent, just do whatever it takes to dig out that attitude that you have inherited, and grow a new one. Be the successful speaker you know you can be.
“We’ve all committed the 11 deadly presentation sins on the way up in our careers. This insightful book will help make sure that your way up doesn’t become the way down!”
– Dr. Nick Morgan, author of Give Your Speech, Change the World
11 Deadly Presentation Sins is the perfect book for public speakers, business presenters, PowerPoint users and anyone who has to get up and talk in front of an audience.
Few skills are more important in business or in life than the ability to present your ideas in clear and compelling terms. A solid presentation can help you:
* Close a sale with a customer
* Earn a raise
* Get a job
* Boost your reputation in the marketplace
* And much more …
Escape From PowerPoint Hell …
More Than 100 Practical Tips …
Did We Mention Fun?
My review
Want to avoid killing your audiences with boredom? Are you killing your career, your business, your chances of winning that pitch with murderous presentations? Sin no more. Resurrect your speaking success with Rob Biesenbach’s new book.
Rob brings skills as an actor, a speaker and a PR pro to this book; and not just skills but the entertaining, engaging communication style that made him a success there.
If you want to build your own success as a speaker, use this book. I don’t like books that tell you what NOT to do, and I feared that “deadly presentation sins” might do just that. I was mistaken, and happily so. The book is incredibly positive and encouraging. Rob provides the theory and the fundamentals of presentation success from energy to engagement, from storytelling to structure, from focus to visuals and much, much more.
I enjoyed his conversational style, his humour and his turn of phrase. Especially I enjoyed his humility. These all add up to an encouraging, easy read. He uses examples from other experts. He also uses copious examples from his own experience, so I felt that this was guidance from an expert. More importantly, though, these examples give Rob’s readers a multitude of practical ways to implement the strategies he has listed. This is what takes the book beyond being just another basic read about presentation skills.
Implement the guidance here and yes you will stand out – confident, comfortable and more engaging.
This is indeed the path to redemption!
You can get all the details (and where to buy the book) here on my website … http://bit.ly/1c6rP0Y
Many speakers fear and avoid a Q & A.
Why … because they fear a disaster spiraling out of control.
“What if someone asks a question and I don’t know the answer?”
Experienced speakers know, however, that rather than being a disaster, a Q&A is a wonderful opportunity and they prepare to leverage that opportunity.
“But how can you prepare for every question? No-one can know the answer to everything!”
Let’s look, instead, at preparing for the opportunity buried within this seemingly impossible disaster.
First step … If you don’t know the answer, admit it. That is not a disaster, in itself, or in the making.
Admitting to not knowing the answer is a chance to build authenticity.
Audiences are reasonable. They understand that in the avalanche of information available, no one person can know it all.
There is nothing authentic or credible about someone trying to side-step a question with blustering. Much better to tell the truth.
But before you lose your credibility as an expert, have a plan for response to these questions.
1. If it’s possible, know the experts in the room. Throw the question to one of them, and you are providing a resource just as much as if you had given an answer. You have provided an answer. You have created or reinforced a connection with the other expert. And you have positioned yourself within a community of experts.
2. You can also refer the question back to the audience in general. You are building engagement here with your interaction. If it is possible to allow discussion, you can build a sense of community within the audience. If it’s appropriate you can ask for opinions, stories and examples as well as facts.
3. Finally, saying “No comment” just doesn’t work. You appear either to be completely ignorant and helpless on the subject, or worse still, trying to hide something. If there is no way to answer in the moment, commit to getting the answer to the questioner as soon as possible – to either giving them good sources/resources at the end of your presentation or to communicating an answer in coming days. If you cannot answer because it is not appropriate or you are not at liberty to answer, explain why. Again, audiences are generally reasonable and understanding.
This is also providing an opportunity to reinforce your respect for your audience and its members. Answering with integrity and an honest effort to help, you are showing respect for the person asking the question and for the question itself, no matter how awful the question or the motives of the questioner.
That respect is all part of the process of building and maintaining your credibility and your authenticity. And Q&A has given you the opportunity to contribute more to that process. Rather than being a disaster waiting to happen, Q&A becomes a valuable opportunity.
I don’t particularly like X_Factor videos and the emotional hype that goes with them, but watch this one, and you have to be inspired, especially if you suffer from performance nerves. If this man can do what he did, so successfully, so can you!!
This is a valedictory speech by a student who feared public speaking.
“I’d literally have sweaty palms and a pit in my stomach at the thought of being called on to answer a question in class. The worst part was that I thought I’d always feel that way but thank goodness I finally figured out how to get rid of it and I’ve never felt better about speaking publicly.”
Watch him as he waits through his introduction. It is still evident. Watch, though, as he makes his speech and know that this is one inspirational human being.
He still has a way to go with his speaking, but with an attitude like that, he should go far.
I would love your comments on this speaker and his presentation in the comments below. Especially I would like to hear what advice you would give him on his speaking. I think he would appreciate it.
The first piece of public speaking that I can remember doing was in about the second year of school. Every year of school, we learned several pieces of poetry by rote, wrote them in our best handwriting in our poetry books and recited them together each morning. I loved that poetry – loved the writing, the sound of the words and the way they fitted together in a new form of speaking. But in the second year of school, it was decided that each person in the class would recite the poem to the whole group. We were instructed to stand out the front, in the middle, with our hands clasped together with the finger tips of each hand nestled against the fingers of the other – “cupped” I think, is the word for it.
I don’t remember being nervous, but remember standing there. I don’t remember what the teacher may have said was good about my presentation, but in perverse and fairly normal human style, I have never forgotten being told that I had swayed while I spoke.
And that was the beginning of years of fear of public speaking. Obviously perfection was expected here and obviously, too, my body could not be trusted to be perfect without my strict supervision. By Year seven, the public speaking exercises had graduated to coming to the door of the classroom, knocking and asking “Are you Nelly Reddy?” That was too much! I would discover a sudden need to go to the bathroom –and stay there. It got to the stage where the teacher asked my mother if I was having some sort of health issue!
My love of language and an ability to use it reasonably well meant I built a successful career in public speaking at high school, but always at the expense of suffering horribly from nerves. There was still the expectation of a performance, and the degree of perfection against a set of criteria was always forefront in every experience.
I have worked hard over the intervening years to overcome the fear, because despite it all, I still love public speaking. And one of the best feelings these days is the feeling of being able to stand confidently on a stage and have a conversation with the audience. Another best feeling is knowing that that is the common trend in public speaking today as well. I watch “Show and Tell” in primary school and watch as the teachers make each child feel comfortable, supported, encouraged and never judged. I read about public speaking and see the growing number of people discussing this need to be perfect and what a burden it is, and how unnecessary.
The concept I love most is the idea of the performance/perfectionism as placing a wall between yourself as a speaker and your audience. Perhaps it should be refereed to as a screen, in the way that a screen holds a movie or video separate from its audience.
And of course the antidote is to break down the wall, take yourself out of the screen and see yourself as having a conversation with your audience. You can be so much more authentic as you be yourself in conversation rather than a performing persona. You can be so much more engaging as you interact, in conversation, with your audience. And as a speaking consultant I can now encourage my clients to be themselves – their best selves, mind you, but still their authentic selves.
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication. please do. but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Your mouth is dry, heart palpitating, and knees knocking. You go into panic, facing a dreaded public speaking assignment.
It doesn’t have to be so.
These five tips will give you some strategies to overcome those symptoms and have the butterflies flying in formation.
1. Deep breathing will pull in oxygen. Adrenalin, secreted to help you deal with the fear brought on by little doubts, causes breaths to become shallow, or causes you to hold your breath. Deep breathing will help your brain work to capacity, and forcing the slower pace will quell the panic.
2. Bluff. Stand tall, with shoulders back and chest out. Smile. Even though you don’t feel happy or confident, do it anyway. You will look confident and your body will fool your brain into thinking it is confident. This really works!!
Bluff – body and smile
3. Keep you mouth and throat hydrated. Plan to keep a drink on hand while you are speaking., though this sounds impossible. Visualising how you will use it if you need it, and calling up the audacity to do such a thing will carry across to your attitude as you take your place to speak, placing your glass just where you need it to be.
4. Adrenalin sends the blood rushing to the fight/flight centres of your brain at the base of the skull. Place your hand on your forehead and press gently on the bony points. This will bring the blood to the parts of the brain that need it to present your speech best.
5. Know you are prepared. Obviously this depends on actually being prepared, so take every opportunity in the days leading up to the speech to prepare your material. Be familiar with the structure of the presentation, and the ideas to use. Memorise the most important parts, and the parts you are frightened of forgetting. I would memorise the opening of the speech and in the moments before presenting it, would reassure myself that I knew that part, and that would lead on to the rest. It worked!!
…………………………………………….
©Bronwyn Ritchie
If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. Get her 30 speaking tips FREE and boost your public speaking mastery over 30 weeks. Go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
For my eBook on Overcoming public speaking nerves, visit http://bit.ly/NEKghl
It’s embarrassing for the nervous speaker and it’s embarrassing for the audience – those awkward, horrible moments when something goes wrong, something embarrassing happens. They are an experience neither the audience nor the speaker wants to have to endure.
Here are four situations where you can smooth out those embarrassing moments … and a powerful strategy to use in the future.
1. The mental blank That terrible moment when someone loses complete track of what they are saying – there is a blank, their face drops, and then becomes more and more frantic. This is painful not only for the speaker but for the audience. Develop a strategy now so that if, despite your best preparations, a blank happens, you have something to say. You could remark, “Oops I’ve lost it” and maybe you can add some appropriate humour (“Must have left the speech in front of the mirror!”) and then add something like “Now where was I?” Look at your notes if necessary – “We were talking about …” If it’s really bad, ask the audience. Whatever strategy you use along these lines, you keep the audience, and yourself, moving on, returning to target and none of you is embarrassed. So if you fear the blank moment, be prepared with a strategy that will allow you to deal smoothly with the situation.
2. The audience is bored It’s a moment that nervous speakers dread – to realise that most of your audience is bored. They’re glassy eyed, maybe even falling asleep, chatting or texting on their mobile hones. Horrors! Worse still and more embarrassing is the presenter who becomes frantic, attempting to regain attention. Avoid the whole situation if you can by ensuring you have variety wired into your presentation, and have something up your sleeve that you can move into if necessary. Introduce a new visual. Involve the audience. Change your stance, body language or walking pattern. Stop. Stand still. Whatever you use, it will become a smooth, professional piece of your presentation instead of a situation that embarrasses you and your audience.
3. Dry mouth Do you have a persistent dry mouth? Then take a glass of water with you. Before the speech, organise a place to put it and then choose a time where you can drink without interrupting the flow of your speech. Incorporate this into the planning of your presentation and your visualisation of your successful presentation. If it does interrupt, then find a way to explain it, incorporate it, or joke about it.
4. Those other embarrassing physical symptoms The same applies to anything else you expect might embarrass you or detract from your speech. If you cannot overcome the physical symptoms in the lead up to the speech, then these are the ones you need to develop strategies for. And use this same set of tactics for any other symptoms like blushing or shakes – if they detract from your speech – find a way to explain it, incorporate it or joke about it.
Then you will have defused any embarrassment that you feel or your audience feels. In all of these situations where you might make mistakes or have a mishap, there is one underlying powerful principle that works to avoid embarrassment: “It doesn’t matter what happens. What matters is how you deal with what happens.” It really does not matter!. The embarrassment for everyone lies not in the event itself, but in how you respond to it. So instead of being embarrassed, respond, instead, with professionalism and confidence.
Be as prepared as you can for whatever may arise, and be prepared to explain, incorporate or joke if something does happen. Then you will have been able to deal with it, confidently and professionally – without embarrassment. The added bonus? You are reducing your nervousness and increasing your confidence in the process.
……………………………………………
©Bronwyn Ritchie
If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. Get her 30 speaking tips FREE and boost your public speaking mastery over 30 weeks. Go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
If you are moving to build your public speaking confidence, the first thing to do is to plan what you will do over the coming weeks and months. Set yourself some goals and create a list of things to do to get to those goals – “an action plan.”
One way to break down the major goal into smaller, more achievable ones is to try out your strategies in safer environments, before you actually face an audience. For example, take note of how you conduct a conversation – with strangers in particular, maybe a shop keeper, bus conductor, or a person to whom you are introduced at a party or function. The communication and confidence strategies you find yourself using naturally can be used in your public speaking as well. And if you want to improve the communication skills and the confidence, try practicing some of the strategies you intend to use in public speaking, in those conversations. Two especially important skills to practice here are eye contact and a confident approach.
You can also use the same process when you have to leave a telephone message. It is an excellent way of speaking with a purpose, where you may be nervous of making a bad impression. You need to prepare what to say, and you need to present it in an audible, pleasant manner – just as you would for a speech or presentation. Again, here is a chance to develop things you can use again and again so that they come naturally every time.
You can also practise by creating voice mail messages for yourself or your workplace. Here again, the challenge is to convey a certain image – and confidence will be part of it. You can work through preparing the message, practising it and presenting it. This will develop confidence that you can use in presenting a speech.
Finally, find audiences on whom you can practise – the family pet first (!), then your human family or colleagues who are prepared to help. The best practice you will get is if you join a public speaking organisation. Most are excellent, but I recommend POWERtalk because that is the organisation I belong to – but at any club you will have a supportive audience, positive feedback and training to extend what you are learning from me.
Please don’t forget that everyone has setbacks and these are part of your journey to success. And remember, too, that nerves are good – channel them into producing a great presentation.
Author: Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, confident and sucessful, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Mental preparation is a vital part of the process of overcoming the fear of public speaking. It is one of four processes successful speakers use to make sure they lose their fear and use their nerves for success.
The first step is to acknowledge that the fear is normal.
1. A huge range of successful people like Helen Hayes, Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Lisa Minnelli and Sydney Poitier are known to have suffered from nerves.
2. And there was the published survey that identified public speaking as Americans’ number one fear. This reinforces the fact that you are not in a minority, you are not a freak or a failure, but part of a huge group who all feel the same – normal!
3. Seinfeld quipped that if people fear public speaking more than death, then therefore they would rather be in the coffin than making the eulogy. It is so common that Seinfeld jokes about it! It is a natural, normal response – the body’s way of coping with a challenge.
It may be that you have reasons in your past or from within your family that build the fear, and send your body into the fight/flight response. It may be that, like me, you need to run adrenalin to stay alert and focused. It may be that you are not confident socially and need to build confidence to speak.
Whatever the cause, this is a normal response to that cause and accepting that this is just a normal response, and not your own personal, horrible secret, means that you can acknowledge it, and start to treat it, overcome it
This process of looking at your fear/nerves and identifying their source/s is a major step towards overcoming them. Often people don’t articulate what it is they fear, or where the fear comes from. If you can do that, then you have something concrete you can tackle, and a way to move forward. Find the root of the fear or nerves, tease it out so that you understand it and then use logic to deal with it.
The third mental technique is to accept that, for whatever reason, you are running adrenalin, so you might as well use it. Make it work for you. Channel it to create excitement and enthusiasm. These give power to your speech and you can speak with rapid-fire enthusiasm, or hold attention with power pause.
The excitement and enthusiasm will also work with other strategies to build a strong confidence.
You can use the enthusiasm to reinforce positive self-talk. Whether you call them mantras or call them affirmations, choose positive statements beforehand, to say to yourself to keep yourself positive. Or you can create them at the time. They too, will reinforce your confidence.
Combine these with a fifth technique – visualization. Very early in the preparation for your speech or presentation, visualize yourself leaving your seat, walking to the stage/podium, greeting the audience – all with calm confidence and enthusiasm. Watch it and experience how it feels. Then, as you progress, visualise, too, and feel, all of the aspects of your presentation – the sections of the speech, any prepared movements, and any visuals. See every one of these occurring successfully and see your confidence permeating every one. This may sound very impractical, but it works for me, and did, long before I really knew I was doing it. I just see it as part of my preparation – then, once prepared, it’s something I don’t have to think about at the time.
And,of course, if you do prepare well, in as much detail as possible, and use visualization as part of the process, then that in itself will give you confidence. Being able to reassure yourself that you are prepared is a major confidence builder, and you can use it as one of your reassuring, positive statements. “I am prepared. I have every aspect covered. I have nothing to worry about.”
You will have accepted the nerves as normal. You will have found their cause/s and used that as a foundation to build strategies for success. You will have mentally prepared for each part of your presentation. You will have learned to channel the nerves into power for your presentation. The processes of mental preparation will be a powerful part of your success in overcoming the fear of public speaking
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, confident and sucessful, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Your mouth is dry, heart palpitating, and knees knocking. You go into panic, facing a dreaded public speaking assignment.
It doesn’t have to be so.
These five tips will give you some strategies to overcome those symptoms and have the butterflies flying in formation.
1. Deep breathing will pull in oxygen. Adrenalin, secreted to help you deal with the fear brought on by little doubts, causes breaths to become shallow, or causes you to hold your breath. Deep breathing will help your brain work to capacity, and forcing the slower pace will quell the panic.
2. Bluff. Stand tall, with shoulders back and chest out. Smile. Even though you don’t feel happy or confident, do it anyway. You will look confident and your body will fool your brain into thinking it is confident. This really works!!
Bluff – body and smile
3. Keep you mouth and throat hydrated. Plan to keep a drink on hand while you are speaking., though this sounds impossible. Visualising how you will use it if you need it, and calling up the audacity to do such a thing will carry across to your attitude as you take your place to speak, placing your glass just where you need it to be.
4. Adrenalin sends the blood rushing to the fight/flight centres of your brain at the base of the skull. Place your hand on your forehead and press gently on the bony points. This will bring the blood to the parts of the brain that need it to present your speech best.
5. Know you are prepared. Obviously this depends on actually being prepared, so take every opportunity in the days leading up to the speech to prepare your material. Be familiar with the structure of the presentation, and the ideas to use. Memorise the most important parts, and the parts you are frightened of forgetting. I would memorise the opening of the speech and in the moments before presenting it, would reassure myself that I knew that part, and that would lead on to the rest. It worked!!
For my eBook on Overcoming public speaking nerves, visit http://bit.ly/NEKghl
Stretch to relax. Rise on your toes and reach for the ceiling, with your head back. Tighten your muscles from legs up through abdomen, and then release. Relax the neck and shoulder muscles, letting head loll on neck in different directions.
Breathe to relax. Stand erect, but relaxed and balanced. Inhale while silently counting to five. Hold the breath for five counts, then exhale for five – all breathing is through the mouth. Your diaphragm should move, but your chest should not expand. You can gradually increase the number of counts for each breath to 10.
Relax your Jaw. Let your head loll forward. As you raise it, keep your jaw relaxed. Let it hang open, and smile to yourself at how silly it feels.
Relax your throat. Yawn …. This is how your throat needs to be to speak well – open, and relaxed.
Keep relaxing the muscles throughout your body, your jaw, neck and throat until you walk to the presentation area. Then smile! and begin.
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
The virtue of all achievement is victory over oneself. Those who know this can never know defeat.
A. J. Cronin
(Overcome your fear of public speaking, and WIN!!)
The first piece of public speaking that I can remember doing was in about the second year of school. Every year of school, we learned several pieces of poetry by rote, wrote them in our best handwriting in our poetry books and recited them together each morning. I loved that poetry – loved the writing, the sound of the words and the way they fitted together in a new form of speaking. But in the second year of school, it was decided that each person in the class would recite the poem to the whole group. We were instructed to stand out the front, in the middle, with our hands clasped together with the finger tips of each hand nestled against the fingers of the other – “cupped” I think, is the word for it.
I don’t remember being nervous, but remember standing there. I don’t remember what the teacher may have said was good about my presentation, but in perverse and fairly normal human style, I have never forgotten being told that I had swayed while I spoke.
And that was the beginning of years of fear of public speaking. Obviously perfection was expected here and obviously, too, my body could not be trusted to be perfect without my strict supervision. By Year seven, the public speaking exercises had graduated to coming to the door of the classroom, knocking and asking “Are you Nelly Reddy?” That was too much! I would discover a sudden need to go to the bathroom –and stay there. It got to the stage where the teacher asked my mother if I was having some sort of health issue!
My love of language and an ability to use it reasonably well meant I built a successful career in public speaking at high school, but always at the expense of suffering horribly from nerves. There was still the expectation of a performance, and the degree of perfection against a set of criteria was always forefront in every experience.
I have worked hard over the intervening years to overcome the fear, because despite it all, I still love public speaking. And one of the best feelings these days is the feeling of being able to stand confidently on a stage and have a conversation with the audience. Another best feeling is knowing that that is the common trend in public speaking today as well. I watch “Show and Tell” in primary school and watch as the teachers make each child feel comfortable, supported, encouraged and never judged. I read about public speaking and see the growing number of people discussing this need to be perfect and what a burden it is, and how unnecessary.
The concept I love most is the idea of the performance/perfectionism as placing a wall between yourself as a speaker and your audience. Perhaps it should be refereed to as a screen, in the way that a screen holds a movie or video separate from its audience.
And of course the antidote is to break down the wall, take yourself out of the screen and see yourself as having a conversation with your audience. You can be so much more authentic as you be yourself in conversation rather than a performing persona. You can be so much more engaging as you interact, in conversation, with your audience. And as a speaking consultant I can now encourage my clients to be themselves – their best selves, mind you, but still their authentic selves.
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication. please do. but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to admired, rehired as a speaker, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Once you can identify the causes that are underlying your public speaking nerves and fear, you can choose the strategies you need to build your confidence, use the fear and present successfully.
Most people suffer from some fear of public speaking. The survey that identified it as America’s number one fear was accurate then and remains so today. But the causes of that fear can differ from person to person.
One of the most important steps towards overcoming the fear of public speaking is to identify the things in your life that have created the fear and then choose the strategies that relate to those causes and that will conquer the fear and allow you to harness it to enhance your presentations and speeches, not destroy them.
So let’s list some of the factors that underlie the fear of public speaking and see which ones apply to you.
The first on the list is the fact that fear of public speaking can run in families. I’m not sure if there is a genetic cause for this but I do know that if you have seen your parents or a family member speaking or performing confidently in public, then you will most likely see it as something you can do too. But if you see fear and aversion to public speaking then you will probably adopt that as part of your culture as well.
The second factor lies in the way your brain functions. It may be that your brain is not functioning in a way that builds confidence. It is possible that the neurotransmitters that allow your brain to transfer information are not operating as they should
Previous personal experience can affect our confidence in any situation. Teasing of any sort can destroy confidence and if it was associated with public speaking then any chance of future confidence in public speaking will be shattered. Thoughtlessly expressed criticism can do the same. A teacher, peer or parent can destroy confidence with unthinking negative comments.
Beliefs. Many people’s fear of public speaking is founded in the belief that they are responsible for always creating a positive impression … and its corollary that if they do not create this wonderful impression then they have created a disaster. Your family, your peers and your associates, not to mention the media, can all contribute to this expectation of any situation. So if you feel an unreal demand on you in terms of the need to create a great impression then anything you do in public will be fraught with anxiety.
Because people fear public speaking they then set up systems to avoid it. Any opportunity is met with avoidance, rather than either a positive expectation, or a confident attempt that could be the basis of development. And then that avoidance becomes a habit – it self-perpetuates.
So … did any of those scenarios strike a chord with you and your experiences? Did you recognise any of them acting in your life? It may even be that more than one of these factors is present in creating your fear of public speaking. Rest assured, though, that for each, there are strategies that can be used to overcome it. Use them in conjunction with some other processes and you have a strong, guaranteed basis for developing confidence and skill in public speaking.
(c) Bronwyn Ritchie
If you want to include this article in your publication. please do. but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer.
She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk International, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In 30 weeks time, you could be 3 times the speaker you are now. Click here for Bronwyn’s FREE 30 speaking tips. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Afraid of public speaking? Fear is always a symptom of an underlying attitude in your inner life. Here are some of the most common reasons why: => http://bit.ly/sWwO1W
Conquer Your Fear of Public Speaking
Let’s begin by hearkening back to a time when Romans considered it to be good sport to feed Christians to the lions. One day, the festivities had been going as usual when a strange thing happened. The Christian in the arena whispered something to the lion. The lion then turned tail and slunk away.
The crowd was amazed. The Emperor was impressed. He let it be known that he would spare the Christian’s life if the man would reveal the secret of what he had said to the lion.
The Christian was brought before the Emperor. In a powerful voice, he said, “I told him he would have to say a few words after dinner.”
The lion’s reaction should not surprise anyone who has been asked to “say a few words.” If you are like most people, a jolt of adrenaline courses through your body, your heart beats a bit faster, and your breathing becomes shallow. It’s possible, too, that your palms get sweaty, your knees feel like Jell-O, and your mind goes blank.
Some years ago, The Sunday Times of London published a list of people’s greatest fears. The fear of public speaking took first place, while “death” placed seventh. Though I don’t really believe that most people would rather die than speak, I have had clients say to me, “But you only die once!”
… read more => http://bit.ly/pAQ3HF
Do you “feel the fear” when asked to do some public speaking?
Public speaking is still one of our greatest fears and it turns grown men and women into nervous wrecks. The mere thought of it turns our tongue to cotton wool, causes our internal plumbing to act up and turns our knees to jelly.
Well, there’s no need for all of this because help is at hand. All you need to remember are your P’s and Q’s. Let’s start with the P’s …. http://bit.ly/r1vKFB
You CAN feel comfortable in the spotlight. Conquer your anxieties and channel your energy into a better public performance.
Would you like to:
Speak in front of large audiences without being nervous?
Prepare for any public performance?
Learn to enjoy the spotlight?
Remain focused and “in the moment” while on stage?
Become more effective in group meetings?
Lose stage fright?
Perform to your true potential?
If you truly want to be able to perform to your maximum potential, then Overcoming Performance Anxiety can help you.
Using award-winning hypnosis techniques created by Dr. Shirley McNeal, Overcoming Performance Anxiety will help you perform at your absolute best. Whether you are delivering a speech, playing an instrument, singing, talking to a small group or acting, this program will help you perform to your maximum potential.
The powerful hypnosis techniques in this three-session program will help you relax and guide you to a state of hypnotic trance opening your subconscious mind to empowering suggestions designed to help create an ideal state for public performances. You’ll feel deeply relaxed and safe as you move towards a greater sense of public speaking and performance-related confidence.
Isn’t it time for you to learn to love the spotlight and get rid of those sweaty palms?
According to cognitive theorists, our thinking process can be divided into three levels and they are referred to as negative automatic thoughts (NATs). The negative thoughts are hidden beneath our core beliefs, assumptions or principles. NATs are also said to be the string of consciousness. These ideas are experienced by a person in a particular kind of situation leading to emotional distress. A person can become aware of these ideas or thoughts by asking questions like “what your mind is thinking”?
Many times our mind triggers fears and anxieties in relation to a particular situation that actually has little or no significance in reality. For instance, an experienced public speaker who had been performing excellent for many years, he may all of a sudden feel dreaded that what if he forgets his speech in the middle of the event. He knows that it’s not the first time he will be giving a public speech but somehow this gets triggered out. But as our mind can create these negative feelings, it can also overcome them.
How is this applicable to a public speaker? You as a public speaker can overcome negative feelings that you experience at the time of public speaking. You can transform the fearful thoughts into positive ones following simple steps.
1. Become aware of your negative feelings or emotions: Most of these thoughts occur at mind’s subconscious, so taking them to conscious level is important. By being conscious of these thoughts, you can turn them into positive thoughts. Repeat words that boost your confidence, such as “I am a good speaker and people want to hear me. I will share my experience and skill and have an excellent time.” By doing this, you will reinforce your positive emotions.
2. Visualize your success at public speaking: Evoke your imaginative power, shut your eyes and visualize yourself at the place, addressing audience. Imagine them agreeing to your points and smiling at you. Picture yourself as delivering your speech with confidence, passion, and clarity and with a smile on face. At the end, imagine all of them giving you a standing ovation or a loud applause. Imagine them coming to you after the event is over to say you thanks for giving such a wonderful speech.
3. Prepare yourself physically for the event: Hum any of your favorite songs while going for the final presentation. Take deep breaths. Massage your back, neck, chest and shoulders and continue doing deep breathing. It will relax your tension and stop it from affecting your voice.
Author, Prerana Maheshrajka is a Senior Content developer at ARSWebTech. http://www.arswebtech.com
This is an audiocassette. Do you still have a cassette player? If you do, and you want some tips on overcoming your nerves …..
Speaking Without Fear or Nervousness
by Helen Sutton
“Those who cringe at the thought of public speaking may be passing up golden opportunities to showcase their professional expertise and personal talents. This audio program will help listeners take a bold step toward conquering their anxieties once and for all. They’ll uncover self-defeating thoughts, and replace them with positive expectations. Listeners get trusty tips to help them deal with their physical symptoms. Plus they’ll learn practice techniques that help build confidence.”
Are you crippled by nerves or fear of public speaking? Don’t be. There are heaps of ways to overcome those nerves, to face and conquer the fear. This free eBook will give you a broad range and some quotations and ideas to help. Just email me and I will send you a copy.
You will read about, or have heard about, strategies to overcome public speaking nerves. In preparation for implementing those strategies in front of an audience, you can try them out in ordinary, non-threatening situations first.
For example, take note of how you conduct a conversation – with strangers in particular, for example a shop keeper, bus conductor, or a person to whom you are introduced at a party or function. The communication and confidence strategies you find yourself using naturally can be used in your public speaking.
And, conversely, if you want to improve the communication skills and the confidence, try practicing some of the strategies you have been gathering for public speaking, in those conversations.
Overcoming fear of public speaking can involve accepting that, for whatever reason, you are running adrenalin, so you might as well use it.
Channel it to create excitement and enthusiasm which will boost your confidence.
Speak quickly with enthusiasm, or hold attention with power pause, but combined with other techniques, this channeling will build a strong confidence.
A huge range of successful people like Helen Hayes, Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Lisa Minnelli and Sydney Poitier are known to have suffered from nerves.
The published survey that identified public speaking as Americans’ number one fear also shows that you are not in a minority, you are not a freak or a failure, but part of a huge group.
Seinfeld quipped that if people fear public speaking more than death, then they would rather be in the coffin
than making the eulogy. It is so common that Seinfeld jokes about it! It is a natural, normal response – the
body’s way of coping with a challenge.
It may be that you have reasons in your past or your family that build the fear, and your body has gone into the
fight/flight response. It may be that, like me, you need to run adrenalin to stay alert and focused. It may be that you are not confident socially and need to build confidence to speak.
Whatever the reason, it is a normal response to that reason and accepting that this is just a normal response,
and not your own personal, horrible secret, means that you can acknowledge it, and start to treat it, overcome
it.
It may have taken you days or weeks to prepare for your presentation, and it all could be ruined in an instant because of your nerves. Learn the following 7 simple techniques, and you’ll defeat your public-speaking nerves for good and become the most confident person in the room.
Is fear of public speaking holding you back? Are you paralysed by fear when you have to speak in public?
Do you need to make presentations at work but avoid them because of nerves?
This is not the way to success. Speeches and presentations need to be confidently presented.
These are the typical symptoms that nerves can produce …
Jelly legs
Dry mouth
Sweaty palms
Fear of forgetting or losing your place
Fear of not impressing the audience, or losing them altogether
Shakes
are these yours ? ? ? ? ?
Learn to overcome these symptoms, and overcome the fear of public speaking =>http://bit.ly/alGMck
This is one of the most powerful sources of confidence – knowing that you are prepared. During the nervous stages, you can continually reassure yourself that you are prepared and can visualise all the aspects of the successful presentation that you have prepared. As far as I am concerned, this will provide the major part of your confidence.
… In just 10 minutes?
Scientists have just given the official nod to a brand new NLP-based system that enables you to literally “erase” old fears and phobias – in a matter of minutes.
Fear of public speaking, fear of spiders, fear of death, fear of failure – whatever it is – it can be permanently deleted. All when you listen to this special “brain language” CD recording.
It’s an amazing discovery – and has the awesome potential to change the world.
Interested?
Learn more ahead of the crowd, online at:
It works. Life-long fears GONE FOR GOOD – in just minutes.
Check out the site… I guarantee you’ll be amazed!
It’s embarrassing for the nervous speaker and it’s embarrassing for the audience – those awkward, horrible moments when something goes wrong, something embarrassing happens. They are an experience neither the audience nor the speaker wants to have to endure.
Here are four situations where you can smooth out those embarrassing moments … and a powerful strategy to use in the future.
1. The mental blank
That terrible moment when someone loses complete track of what they are saying – there is a blank, their face drops, and then becomes more and more frantic. This is painful not only for the speaker but for the audience. Develop a strategy now so that if, despite your best preparations, a blank happens, you have something to say. You could remark, “Oops I’ve lost it” and maybe you can add some appropriate humour (“Must have left the speech in front of the mirror!”) and then add something like “Now where was I?” Look at your notes if necessary – “We were talking about …” If it’s really bad, ask the audience. Whatever strategy you use along these lines, you keep the audience, and yourself, moving on, returning to target and none of you is embarrassed. So if you fear the blank moment, be prepared with a strategy that will allow you to deal smoothly with the situation.
2. The audience is bored
It’s a moment that nervous speakers dread – to realise that most of your audience is bored. They’re glassy eyed, maybe even falling asleep, chatting or texting on their mobile hones. Horrors! Worse still and more embarrassing is the presenter who becomes frantic, attempting to regain attention. Avoid the whole situation if you can by ensuring you have variety wired into your presentation, and have something up your sleeve that you can move into if necessary. Introduce a new visual. Involve the audience. Change your stance, body language or walking pattern. Stop. Stand still. Whatever you use, it will become a smooth, professional piece of your presentation instead of a situation that embarrasses you and your audience.
3. Dry mouth
Do you have a persistent dry mouth? Then take a glass of water with you. Before the speech, organise a place to put it and then choose a time where you can drink without interrupting the flow of your speech. Incorporate this into the planning of your presentation and your visualisation of your successful presentation. If it does interrupt, then find a way to explain it, incorporate it, or joke about it.
4. Those other embarrassing physical symptoms
The same applies to anything else you expect might embarrass you or detract from your speech. If you cannot overcome the physical symptoms in the lead up to the speech, then these are the ones you need to develop strategies for.
And use this same set of tactics for any other symptoms like blushing or shakes –if they detract from your speech – find a way to
explain it,
incorporate it
or joke about it.
Then you will have defused any embarrassment that you feel or your audience feels.
In all of these situations where you might make mistakes or have a mishap, there is one underlying powerful principle that works to avoid embarrassment:
“It doesn’t matter what happens. What matters is how you deal with what happens.”
It really does not matter!. The embarrassment for everyone lies not in the event itself, but in how you respond to it. So instead of being embarrassed, respond, instead, with professionalism and confidence. Be as prepared as you can for whatever may arise, and be prepared to explain, incorporate or joke if something does happen. Then you will have been able to deal with it, confidently and professionally – without embarrassment.
The added bonus? You are reducing your nervousness and increasing your confidence in the process.
Did you know that public speaking nerves are good? They keep you on edge, push you to produce your best work.
Let this eBook show you how to harness your nervousness and be successful.
Before you have to face giving another speech or presentation,
arm yourself with these simple proven strategies that will guide you to success and confidence.
E-Book – “How to overcome your fear of public speaking” http://www.consultpivotal.com/nerves_ebook.htm
From the Reviews
Why is she so effective? First, she’s been there. You can totally relate to her as she describes her experiences. Second, Janet resolved to overcome her problem and tried many different approaches to do so. Her book focuses on the most effective methods that attack the problem from several directions.
Mental preparation is a vital part of the process of overcoming the fear of public speaking. It is one of four processes successful speakers use to make sure they lose their fear and use their nerves for success.
The first step is to acknowledge that the fear is normal.
1. A huge range of successful people like Helen Hayes, Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Lisa Minnelli and Sydney Poitier are known to have suffered from nerves.
2. And there was the published survey that identified public speaking as Americans’ number one fear. This reinforces the fact that you are not in a minority, you are not a freak or a failure, but part of a huge group who all feel the same – normal!
3. Seinfeld quipped that if people fear public speaking more than death, then therefore they would rather be in the coffin than making the eulogy. It is so common that Seinfeld jokes about it! It is a natural, normal response – the body’s way of coping with a challenge.
It may be that you have reasons in your past or from within your family that build the fear, and send your body into the fight/flight response. It may be that, like me, you need to run adrenalin to stay alert and focused. It may be that you are not confident socially and need to build confidence to speak.
Whatever the cause, this is a normal response to that cause and accepting that this is just a normal response, and not your own personal, horrible secret, means that you can acknowledge it, and start to treat it, overcome it.
This process of looking at your fear/nerves and identifying their source/s is a major step towards overcoming them. Often people don’t articulate what it is they fear, or where the fear comes from. If you can do that, then you have something concrete you can tackle, and a way to move forward. Find the root of the fear or nerves, tease it out so that you understand it and then use logic to deal with it.
The third mental technique is to accept that, for whatever reason, you are running adrenalin, so you might as well use it. Make it work for you. Channel it to create excitement and enthusiasm. These give power to your speech and you can speak with rapid-fire enthusiasm, or hold attention with power pause.
The excitement and enthusiasm will also work with other strategies to build a strong confidence.
You can use the enthusiasm to reinforce positive self-talk. Whether you call them mantras or call them affirmations, choose positive statements beforehand, to say to yourself to keep yourself positive. Or you can create them at the time. They too, will reinforce your confidence.
Combine these with a fifth technique – visualization. Very early in the preparation for your speech or presentation, visualize yourself leaving your seat, walking to the stage/podium, greeting the audience – all with calm confidence and enthusiasm. Watch it and experience how it feels. Then, as you progress, visualise, too, and feel, all of the aspects of your presentation – the sections of the speech, any prepared movements, and any visuals. See every one of these occurring successfully and see your confidence permeating every one. This may sound very impractical, but it works for me, and did, long before I really knew I was doing it. I just see it as part of my preparation – then, once prepared, it’s something I don’t have to think about at the time.
We will look more at preparing the speech in another article, but if you do prepare well, in as much detail as possible, and use visualization as part of the process, then that in itself will give you confidence. Being able to reassure yourself that you are prepared is a major confidence builder, and you can use it as one of your reassuring, positive statements. “I am prepared. I have every aspect covered. I have nothing to worry about.”
You will have accepted the nerves as normal. You will have found their cause/s and used that as a foundation to build strategies for success. You will have mentally prepared for each part of your presentation. You will have learned to channel the nerves into power for your presentation. The processes of mental preparation will be a powerful part of your success in overcoming the fear of public speaking
Your mouth is dry, heart palpitating, and knees knocking.
You go into panic, facing a dreaded public speaking assignment.
It doesn’t have to be so.
These five tips will give you some strategies to overcome those symptoms and have the butterflies flying in formation.
1. Deep breathing will pull in oxygen.
Adrenalin, secreted to help you deal with the fear brought on by little doubts, causes breaths to become shallow, or causes you to hold your breath.
Deep breathing will help your brain work to capacity, and forcing the slower pace will quell the panic.
2. Bluff. Stand tall, with shoulders back and chest out.
Smile. Even though you don’t feel happy or confident, do it anyway. You will look confident and your body will fool your brain into thinking it is confident.
This really works!!
Bluff – body and smile
3. Keep you mouth and throat hydrated.
Plan to keep a drink on hand while you are speaking., though this sounds impossible. Visualising how you will use it if you need it, and calling up the audacity to do such a thing will carry across to your attitude as you take your place to speak, placing your glass just where you need it to be.
4. Adrenalin sends the blood rushing to the fight/flight centres of your brain at the base of the skull.
Place your hand on your forehead and press gently on the bony points.
This will bring the blood to the parts of the brain that need it to present your speech best.
5. Know you are prepared.
Obviously this depends on actually being prepared, so take every opportunity in the days leading up to the speech to prepare your material.
Be familiar with the structure of the presentation, and the ideas to use.
Memorise the most important parts, and the parts you are frightened of forgetting.
I would memorise the opening of the speech and in the moments before presenting it, would reassure myself that I knew that part, and that would lead on to the rest.
It worked!!
Once you can identify the causes that are underlying your public speaking nerves and fear, you can choose the strategies you need to build your confidence, use the fear and present successfully.
Most people suffer from some fear of public speaking. The survey that identified it as America’s number one fear was accurate then and remains so today. But the causes of that fear can differ from person to person.
One of the most important steps towards overcoming the fear of public speaking is to identify the things in your life that have created the fear and then choose the strategies that relate to those causes and that will conquer the fear and allow you to harness it to enhance your presentations and speeches, not destroy them.
So let’s list some of the factors that underlie the fear of public speaking and see which ones apply to you.
The first on the list is the fact that fear of public speaking can run in families. I’m not sure if there is a genetic cause for this but I do know that if you have seen your parents or a family member speaking or performing confidently in public, then you will most likely see it as something you can do too. But if you see fear and aversion to public speaking then you will probably adopt that as part of your culture as well.
The second factor lies in the way your brain functions. It may be that your brain is not functioning in a way that builds confidence. It is possible that the neurotransmitters that allow your brain to transfer information are not operating as they should.
Previous personal experience can affect our confidence in any situation. Teasing of any sort can destroy confidence and if it was associated with public speaking then any chance of future confidence in public speaking will be shattered. Thoughtlessly expressed criticism can do the same. A teacher, peer or parent can destroy confidence with unthinking negative comments.
Beliefs. Many people’s fear of public speaking is founded in the belief that they are responsible for always creating a positive impression … and its corollary that if they do not create this wonderful impression then they have created a disaster. Your family, your peers and your associates, not to mention the media, can all contribute to this expectation of any situation. So if you feel an unreal demand on you in terms of the need to create a great impression then anything you do in public will be fraught with anxiety.
Because people fear public speaking they then set up systems to avoid it. Any opportunity is met with avoidance, rather than either a positive expectation, or a confident attempt that could be the basis of development. And then that avoidance becomes a habit – it self-perpetuates.
So … did any of those scenarios strike a chord with you and your experiences? Did you recognise any of them acting in your life? It may even be that more than one of these factors is present in creating your fear of public speaking. Rest assured, though, that for each, there are strategies that can be used to overcome it. Use them in conjunction with some other processes and you have a strong, guaranteed basis for developing confidence and skill in public speaking.
© Bronwyn Ritchie All rights reserved. If you would like to use this article, you have permission to use it only in full, and with the following Resource box attached.
You need your nerves. You need your excitement and you need your energy before you present.
You also need to keep them under control and channelled into the best presentation you can give.
Depending on the space and the time that you have, try these physical strategies to tame the nervous in the body and give your mind a chance to relax and be positive before you bring speaking.
Stretch to relax. Rise on your toes and reach for the ceiling, with your head back. Tighten your muscles from legs up through abdomen, and then release. Relax the neck and shoulder muscles, letting head loll on neck in different directions.
Breathe to relax. Stand erect, but relaxed and balanced. Inhale while silently counting to five. Hold the breath for five counts, then exhale for five – all breathing is through the mouth. Your diaphragm should move, but your chest should not expand. You can gradually increase the number of counts for each breath to 10.
Relax your Jaw. Let your head loll forward. As you raise it, keep your jaw relaxed. Let it hang open, and smile to yourself at how silly it feels.
Relax your throat. Yawn …. This is how your throat needs to be to speak well – open, and relaxed.Keep relaxing the muscles throughout your body, your jaw, neck and throat until you walk to the presentation area. Then smile! and begin.
Take your focussed positivity, generosity and passion out onto the stage/platform/presentation space …. and enjoy!