Did it happen to you?
It did to me.
I was giving my first ever speech to a new audience.
I had had one audience for a while and they were so supportive. Responding positively, giving me lots of validation.
And then I presented to a new audience,
feeling confident. I’d done this before. All good.
And then the feedback.
It’s a long time ago, and there was possibly something positive said, but the thing that I have never forgotten, was being told that I swayed.
I was flummoxed.
I swayed?
And I learned:
Not all audiences think I’m wonderful, and in fact they’re probably looking for mistakes
and
I couldn’t trust my body. It wasn’t all about the words, after all, there was a body to control as well.
The second feedback person –
OK. I’ll come clean
it was a teacher
in Year 2
and I was actually reciting a poem.
At home, I had doting parents who taught me, from a family history of loving words and performing poetry. They taught, they modelled and gave me loving support.
The teacher at school … not QUITE the same.
And I have never forgotten that.
I know now that there was no inkling beforehand that a body was involved as well as voice,
and there was the concept of judgement, not necessarily preceded by training and not necessarily giving a way forward to deal with the suggestion for improvement.
Meh, she was a year two teacher in a country school and that was how most training and teaching was done.
But I had that fear of public speaking embedded early.
Hated public speaking ever after.
Unfortunately, given the early grounding, I was also good at it (despite the threat of swaying 🙂
I went on to represent my schools in local-district-state competitions in public speaking and debating
and then from the public speaking club I joined later on as an adult – again representing club, district and state.
AWAYS nervous. ALWAYS. And as the stakes got higher the fear of public speaking and nerves got higher as well.
This was judgement at its highest level. This was necessary control of body, mind and energy at the highest level.
So I had carried it into my adult life, that belief that public speaking was always about audiences who judged – standing on those stages, in the spotlight, being judged – an incredibly challenging vulnerability – one that I know is also challenging to so many people I have supported, coached, mentored.
Back then, all I knew to do was to drop out of the competitive speaking environment. I got off the hamster wheel, not knowing what was needed, just knowing that there had to be a change.
And eventually I realised the mistaken assumption.
It took years, sorting out what was going on – adrenalin, nerves, and just what was behind my public speaking – knowing that it had to be something that came from a different place than that competitive judgement-driven mindset.
I came to realise that most ordinary audiences really don’t care much about faults and faux pas, especially if you don’t make a big deal of them.
They don’t care about perfection, they care about trusting you to care about them.
Trusting that you have THEIR interests at heart.
All of us who speak, whether we are educating, inspiring, selling or passionately changing the world, right outside any competitive field, we are being considered on one single overriding criterion,
and all audiences are the same.
That criterion is “Do you care about me and my needs?”
So in my speeches, I haven’t changed the messages, or the words, I simply created the Trust Formula to weave into those, and it changed everything.
I saw audiences following along, nodding and beaming with the same sudden understandings. But best of all I felt confident. The nerves dissipated and I knew I had a formula that would make my audiences and myself have faith in what I had for them.
I changed how I presented my messages.
Please know there’s nothing wrong with your vulnerability challenge. We all feel it. And know that the answer lies in the way your present your material – laced with the Trust Formula – that you can present without bragging, and that you do care.
If you want to build that strength in vulnerability, the confidence and skills that makes great speakers, then you can join my Pivotal Public Speaking group program – and build the Foundations of Public Speaking.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions you have as well.
There never has been security. No man has ever known what he would meet around the next corner;
if life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavour.Eleanor Roosevelt.
Harsh words, those, especially for those of us who like to be prepared.
“Never.” … “There never has been security.”
Still, we try to achieve it as much as we can,
prepare for all eventualities,
do our best to avoid the embarrassment of fumbling for an answer, for forgotten words, for a prepared logical flow.
And yet we know, underneath, that what Eleanor Roosevelt said is entirely true.
There will always be the unpredictable.
And we will prepare for that too.
………………….
What about the flavour it brings though?
The flavour of life … the flavour of an unpredictable speaking experience.
I like to think that being a speaker operates on at least 3 levels.
There is me, you, the speaker.
There is what I call the eagle eye – the ability we have to watch ourselves and our audiences from above and evaluate how things are going, in order to adapt.
And then there is the concept that beside the conversation we are having with our audience is another experience, the shared experience of being together in a presentation.
We can leverage that with little moments of quirking an eyebrow at the audience as if to say “See what I did there?”, or less subtly discussing what is actually going on. We can create a shared experience in this level.
If the experience is unexpected, this is where we can really capitalise on that flavour Eleanor mentioned – enjoy the moment together with the audience,
forge a bond of shared experience,
of response to the unexpected
with humour, with pathos or with jointly created action.
So while those un-predictable events can be challenging, especially if we worry too much about them beforehand, or label them failures afterwards,
they can also be the source of some of the most powerful and enjoyable experiences a speaker can have.
Overcoming a fear of public speaking has many facets.
One of those facets is taking the fear apart and looking to see where it came from – looking into the past for clues.
Previous personal experience can affect our confidence in any situation.
Teasing of any sort can destroy confidence and if it was associated with public speaking then any chance of future confidence in public speaking will be shattered.
Thoughtlessly expressed feedback presented as criticism can do the same. A teacher, peer or parent can destroy confidence with unthinking negative comments.
If you find clues like that, then you are well on the way to overcoming it.
Finding a source in the past takes away the magic of the fear. You can apply logic to it.
Was the teasing justified? What was the motive for it? If it was justified and the motive was to bring you up to a standard, then you can work on changing the behaviour in your speaking that prompted it. If it wasn’t then you can dismiss it.
No, I didn’t say that was easy, but it can be done.
Giving feedback on a performance or activity is a valuable tool – but only if it is done with balance, sensitivity and appropriate motive. If it isn’t then it can be damaging and destructive.
Again, logic comes into play. Did the criticism in your past have a base in fact. Then address that fact.
Was it one-sided? Then find a way to get feedback on what your strong points might have been to provide balance and a sense of hope.
No, I didn’t say that was easy, but it can be done.
Even harder to address is the mindset that you may have adopted as a result.
One of the greatest sources of fears is of being judged.
That was mine.
I had a fault pointed out to me at the age of 7 … at school. Every piece of public speaking I did after that was at school – either to be marked out of 10 or graded or to win or lose a debate, or both. Judgement. Always. And for a normally high achiever at school that was a fearsome challenge.
I did well, and achieved, but always with fear.
Then I joined a speaking organisation whose programs were aimed at preparing speakers for speaking competitions. Judgement. Again – success but always with fear.
It wasn’t until I started speaking and running workshops at conferences and speaking to groups outside those confines that I felt I could escape the judgement and just be myself, communicating with an audience, and presenting them with something of use.
To me, the best cure for the fear is to believe that I have something of value and to focus on how that can help – to focus on expansive generosity rather than on a creation that is put up for judgement.
If you have a past experience that makes you fearful of public speaking, I would love to read about it in the comments, and even more so if you have fund a “cure” for it.
I am writing this as the world mourns David Bowie.
Something Bowie said reminded me about the dichotomy that we all face, in public speaking, between “performing” and being “authentic.”
Many of my clients come to me because they are deterred from speaking by their fear of “performing” this thing called public speaking, fear of not adequately meeting some set of criteria, and of losing their self and their real message in that performance. .
Many of you will know how much of a struggle the dichotomy has been for me. I spent many years entering (and winning my fair share) of public speaking competitions. It is a world unto itself, competitive public speaking, bound by rules, and it involves speaking knowing that one is being judged (a nervous beginner’s worst nightmare, and daunting for the old hands as well!).
So for all those years I operated within that world and its rules, doing well, but constantly feeling the weird dislocation of communicating with an audience via a strict set of guidelines.
It has been incredibly liberating to give up the concept of being judged as a performer.
But still the dichotomy remains – authenticity is vital and yet performance has to be factored in. They must still be in balance.
And for me, and for many others like me, there is also the strange “lure” of performance, threatening to pull that balance awry in a different direction.
Two “events” that have crossed my path in the last couple of weeks have really highlighted this “lure” of performance.
The death of David Bowie was one but before that …
You might also be aware of my interest/obsession (!) with Outlanders, the series of books … and with the TV series, how it is being made …
and with the lead actor who is a consummate professional on and off stage.
(The fact that his good looks are highlighted at every opportunity doesn’t hurt either, but it’s not the main source of my interest.!)
The image below is from an Instagram post. He has had to work out to create the build of the character, Jamie. But he is also very involved in charities and one program he runs is a fitness/goal achievement challenge from which the funds go to one of those charities. In the course of this fundraising he has had to endure photo shoots for a cross-fit magazine, to promote this fundraiser.
When you finish enjoying what he has achieved in terms of the physique, maybe you can read the text …
and see that possibility – of creating a performance, or a mask, behind which to hide the real you.
Where would you say this lies on the spectrum between authenticity and performing?
The second event, was the demise of David Bowie – a shock to the world. He was an icon of our age. Meant so much to so many people for so many reasons. He strummed our pain. He gave us possibilities outside our squares. He provided sheer entertainment and amazing music. He stimulated our creativity. He gave us solace.
Many of us are now listening to his latest and final recording for the hints he embedded about his attitude to life … and to death.
Even at the end, he was orchestrating his life. In 1976 he told Playboy “I’ve now decided that my death should be very precious. I really want to use it. I’d like my death to be as interesting as my life has been and will be.”
We are now looking back at the latest album, at the quotations, and connecting the dots back from the death of an icon. And in my efforts to do just that I found this quote which I put into a graphic.
Both of these beautiful, thoughtful, creative professionals, expressing the concept of a separate persona or mask in order to perform or “expose” oneself.
So there it is …
and while I do see performance as a lure, mindful as I am of lingering memories of old experiences, I also find in it support for my theory that
introverts make the best speakers!
And the dichotomy remains!
After lots of experience and deliberation, and now these two events, I have reached this …
that the compromise between performance and being yourself comes, I think, down to two things –
being your best self
and playing the game with your audience.
What do you think?
You might also be interested in:
[Inspiration] Those who win …
About that rash …
Yes that rash … the one you were telling me about at the networking meeting.
“Oh public speaking,” you said, “I hate public speaking. I always get that rash that spreads up my neck. So embarrassing! I have to wear a scarf!”
Is it because of the rash that you hate public speaking or is it that you hate public speaking and consequently get a rash?
Or is it that you don’t mind public speaking, or you wouldn’t mind public speaking? In fact you would probably enjoy it, but somewhere someone said something that gave you the idea that you would be judged every time you spoke or that the stakes are high every time you speak – be careful!
And that created stress. Stress releases cortisol and adrenaline into your system and both are known to affect the skin. Or it could be that you are having an allergic reaction caused by stress.
Either way you need to relieve yourself of the stress. That way you bring back the enjoyment you expect from public speaking and the freedom to speak without worrying about that rash.
And in this case, though not for everyone, it was caused by fear of being judged and fear of failure.
And what could you use, what thought pattern could you introduce, what story could you tell yourself so that you lost those fears?
The first step is to lose the focus on you. Yes I know there might be a rash, but there won’t be if you stop focussing on you, your being judged, your risks in the high stakes outcome.
The second step is to focus on having a conversation with our audience. Look at it as a stylised conversation, perhaps, but don’t call it “public speaking”. This is different, if only so that it’s no longer associated in your mind and adrenal glands with the ”thing” (“public speaking’) that causes the anxiety, the stress, the rash.
And in this conversation, just as in any conversation, engagement and connection occur naturally. Be a natural, not someone being judged on a performance.
And while you are focussing on that audience and the conversation, think about what you are doing for them. What are you giving them that they need or want or like? Start with the mindset of service, of win-win for you and them. Research them and uncover what they need/want/like and appreciate and then give that. Make them aware, and reassure yourself, that you are there to serve.
It is not about you. It is about your audience and your service to them.
So while the high stakes may involve making a sale or persuading or impressing, that sale, that persuasion, that impression will all be made so much easier and less stressful if you aim to serve and make it obvious that that is your aim. And the outcomes will be so much more abundant as well.
Win-win for all concerned.
Know that your new techniques will take away the feeling of being judged and the stress of high stakes outcomes. Know that all you need to do is know your audience, hold a stylised conversation with them and offer them service. And the anxiety drops. The stress drops. The adrenalin and the cortisol drop. The rash goes and public speaking becomes something to anticipate with pleasure.
You CAN do this!
…..
Now … about that adrenalin addiction – that adrenalin habit, the one you told me about at the dinner last night – ah that’s a whole other article…!
Maybe all you need is Disaster Management
You KNOW that speaking is a great way to share your brilliance with a wider audience, gaining you leads and clients for business, supporters for your ideas, more souls who need your inspiration (and just connecting with people).
But is something stopping you?
Public speaking nerves are normal and healthy, but not if they are stopping you sharing that brilliance.
There are all sorts of sources of those nerves and their paralysing effect and all sorts of ways to release them.
But sometimes it is as simple as taking a moment or two to define just what it is you are afraid of – what is allowing the paralysis.
It may be as simple as fear of disaster – of something going horribly wrong.
And step two may be just as simple. Set disaster management plans in place. Don’t court disaster, but just set stuff up so that you can visualise success, knowing that you have contingency plans in place.
So take that moment or two today and it may, indeed, be just that simple.
[Image source: http://vulkanschule.de/images/vulkanausbruch.jpg]
It’s a moment that nervous speakers dread – to realise that most of your audience is bored.
They’re glassy eyed, maybe even falling asleep, chatting or texting.
Horrors!
Worse still and more embarrassing is the presenter who becomes frantic, attempting to regain attention.
It has happened to me twice.
The first was early in my speaking career when I became aware of a lady in the front row, slumped, with her head back and her mouth open, quietly snoring. The second was later, during a presentation, and I watched with increasing concern as one after another, the people in the audience got that glazed look. They were too polite to nod off or chat, but the evidence was there. I had been asked to present on the subject and had failed to research that audience and their needs, which, it turned out, were on a different level altogether.
I well remember the panicky feeling. Fortunately I managed to turn the situations around. As the snores gently increased, we moved quickly into small group discussion so that the people around the sleepy-head moved and woke her up to participate. And in the presentation, as it became increasingly obvious that the material I had prepared was just not appropriate, I was able to drop the script, and work with the audience to find out their needs and present something they needed and got quite excited about. But I will never forget that initial feeling of losing attention.
Avoid the whole situation if you can by researching your audience and make sure you address the What’s In It For Me factor.
Avoid the whole situation if you can by embedding signposts so that your audience can follow the road of your presentation with you.
Avoid the whole situation if you can by ensuring you have variety wired into your presentation, and have something up your sleeve that you can move into if necessary.
Introduce a new visual.
Involve the audience.
Ask questions.
Change your stance, body language or walking pattern.
Stop.
Stand still.
Change from a complex approach to the subject and create pure simplicity. Change direction entirely.
Ask for directions to take.
Whatever you use, it will become a smooth, professional piece of your presentation instead of a situation that embarrasses you and your audience.
Cloak yourself in the attitude and face the danger zone of public speaking.
Last night, at a presentation I gave on speaking your story, someone muttered “Yeah … public speaking – the greatest fear of all!” We all laughed and empathised, and then shared our stories – speaking in public but not “public speaking.”
This morning on the way to the supermarket, I heard “Highway to the Danger Zone” remembering the thrill of the music, and the movie and the Tom Cruise persona …
… and then thought of that comment last night – facing public speaking for some people is like walking into a danger zone – a combat zone – a place where they feel they may have to fight to survive, and maybe it would be better to turn and run – right now!!
So let’s get our Tom Cruise on.
Before this goes any further, let me say I don’t know anything about Tom Cruise as a person beyond what the gossip columns tell me. I have never (well almost never) seen him in a movie except as a sexy, strong, cocky individual, with an appealing soft side. And I am well aware that there are all sorts of movie techniques that enhance that – not least pumping music like Kenny Loggins’. And here’s an audio to remind you just what that feels like.
What was it about Tom Cruise? Ah yes “sexy, strong, cocky, with an appealing soft side”!!
He was good and he knew it. Yes he loved speed, but he was also a good pilot. Want to get your Tom Cruise on? Be good, get good. Read this blog. Read other blogs. Get coaching. Watch other speakers and TED talks. Practise. Capture the moments when you know you are good, when you are in flow speaking, when you feel like a rock star. Rinse and repeat and find out ways to increase those moments. But most importantly, remember what they felt like and take that feeling with you, whenever you speak. That is getting your Tom Cruise on.
If I were to define “cocky” I would think it would involve the word “confidence”, and something to do with the body language of confidence. Looking like you are confident, moving like you are confident, talking like you are confident, works in two ways. Firstly it makes you feel confident. Those who work with laughter know that it is therapeutic. Laughing when you feel least like laughing lifts a mood and stimulates all sorts of therapeutic physiological changes. Acting “cocky” when you are feeling least confident changes your attitude and stimulates all sorts of therapeutic changes in your behaviour and especially in your presentation style. The second way that acting as if we are confident works is that people see confidence. In The Tom Cruise movie persona, this is sexy, attractive. We want to feel that way too. In our speaking situations, it inspires trust in the audience. They see a person who is confident in their knowledge, confident that they can communicate with this audience, and confident enough to be authentic throughout the experience. Do I suggest you be cocky? Not if it’s not your style. But do “Get your Tom Cruise on” if it means behaving with confidence.
Another part of the “cocky” definition would have to be the aspect of fun. Here is a person enjoying what they are doing. The Top Gun fliers enjoyed the need for speed. When the feeling of fear, of danger, appears as it does for all speakers, get your Tom Cruise on. The adrenalin is running because you are taking on a challenge. It’s good. It’s fun. You will achieve. You will also learn. Challenge is where we find flow. Challenge is also where the greatest learning happens. Turn the fear of fear into excitement at doing something that is going to feel so good (and if it doesn’t there will be fabulous lessons to learn. Unlike the pilots you are not facing complete obliteration!)
Before I wrote this article, I went to Youtube and watched a version of “Highway to the Danger Zone” that features clips of the movie. I didn’t watch it all the way through. You can watch it here if you want.
What I did notice, though, was the number of times Tom Cruise is featured with other people. Though it feels like we speak alone when we are on a stage or in front of an audience, we rarely are. “Cocky” needs an audience to enjoy it, to share the fun of it. There will be moments when you can share the “rock star” in-flow speaking moments with your audience. Watch a comedian as he delivers a punch line. Watch Brene Brown as she makes a humorous point. There is a connection with the audience that asks “See what I did there?” – not always, but enough to enable you to take your audience into the experience with you. You are not alone. Nor are you alone as a speaker who is learning to be a Tom Cruise. There are competitors, if you are the competitive type. There are close friends and allies. All are having their successes and failures. You can learn from them. You can support them. They can support you. Some of the failures will be absolutely devastating. But those failures, as I wrote before, are often the greatest learning opportunities, and also the greatest opportunities to bond tightly with colleagues and friends.
And that is one of the places where the “appealing soft side” of the Tom Cruise persona comes in.
Do I want you, or me, for that matter to be “sexy, strong, cocky, with an appealing soft side”? Not if that’s not you already. It’s not me. We are each unique, with our own unique story to tell and to share. But if Getting Your Tom Cruise On can change your attitude as you go into the Danger Zone of public speaking, makes you a superstar speaker, or even just the very best you that you can be right there and then, I will be applauding wildly as the lights dim and you leave the stage.
Image source: http://bit.ly/1npG58c
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Being able to speak “off the cuff” / impromptu / when called upon is a valuable skill.
Some people have it, usually having built it, and some don’t, well … to the extent that the whole idea is paralysingly abhorrent to them.
But for those who can, confidently, fluently and effectively speak whenever they are asked, the rewards are many.
All of the effects that speaking gives are amplified – communicating your credibility, your personality and your message among so many others.
So if you are finding the very idea of speaking impromptu paralysingly abhorrent, or just a bit too challenging, but you understand that valuable chance to communicate your credibility, personality and message, then let’s begin at the beginning when you stand to speak.
Though your mind may be racing and your heart doing the same, you can benefit from making yourself be calm and deliberate.
Stand very deliberately and take time to begin.
Pause.
Smile if it is appropriate.
Take a moment or two to think if you need to, and to ground yourself physically.
Stand up straight to build confidence.
There is always power in pause. It gains attention and can create a bit of intrigue.
Meanwhile it is gaining you the moments you need to gather your thoughts, and remind yourself of your confidence.
Do not apologise.
You will have something to say even if it is about what you don’t know about the subject and why.
Apologising ruins your confidence, deflates the audience’s confidence in you and is generally demoralising.
It is also a waste of the opportunity to create a great attention-getting opening that leads into your ideas.
Open deliberately and positively then, and you set yourself and your audience up for a confident, engaging delivery. It’s a great start to communicating that credibility, personality and message.
Learn how to turn your anxiety into a great public speech with this free video lesson from a professional public speaker.
Sometimes it’s necessary to dig down to the roots of our fear of public speaking. And there can be a lot of those, but if you dig them out, one by one, confidence grows.
Does fear of public speaking run in your family?
I’m not sure if there is a genetic cause for this but I do know that if you have seen your parents or a family member speaking or performing confidently in public, then you will most likely see it as something you can do too. But if you see fear and aversion to public speaking then you will probably adopt that as part of your culture as well.
So it may be time to kick it out of your culture again, disown it. You could have a “coming out” party where you announce to your family that, in fact, you are a confident pubic speaker, and even though that is so different to everything they believe in, you just have to go ahead with it. Can’t do that in real life? Then do it in your head. It’s just as effective.
Otherwise … rebel! Imagine yourself dressed in something absolutely outlandish – entirely different from your family’s normal, raising your fist in the air and speaking with confidence – the “rock star” speaker you always dreamed you could be.
You will know what works for you when it comes to being independent, just do whatever it takes to dig out that attitude that you have inherited, and grow a new one. Be the successful speaker you know you can be.
Many speakers fear and avoid a Q & A.
Why … because they fear a disaster spiraling out of control.
“What if someone asks a question and I don’t know the answer?”
Experienced speakers know, however, that rather than being a disaster, a Q&A is a wonderful opportunity and they prepare to leverage that opportunity.
“But how can you prepare for every question? No-one can know the answer to everything!”
Let’s look, instead, at preparing for the opportunity buried within this seemingly impossible disaster.
First step … If you don’t know the answer, admit it. That is not a disaster, in itself, or in the making.
Admitting to not knowing the answer is a chance to build authenticity.
Audiences are reasonable. They understand that in the avalanche of information available, no one person can know it all.
There is nothing authentic or credible about someone trying to side-step a question with blustering. Much better to tell the truth.
But before you lose your credibility as an expert, have a plan for response to these questions.
1. If it’s possible, know the experts in the room. Throw the question to one of them, and you are providing a resource just as much as if you had given an answer. You have provided an answer. You have created or reinforced a connection with the other expert. And you have positioned yourself within a community of experts.
2. You can also refer the question back to the audience in general. You are building engagement here with your interaction. If it is possible to allow discussion, you can build a sense of community within the audience. If it’s appropriate you can ask for opinions, stories and examples as well as facts.
3. Finally, saying “No comment” just doesn’t work. You appear either to be completely ignorant and helpless on the subject, or worse still, trying to hide something. If there is no way to answer in the moment, commit to getting the answer to the questioner as soon as possible – to either giving them good sources/resources at the end of your presentation or to communicating an answer in coming days. If you cannot answer because it is not appropriate or you are not at liberty to answer, explain why. Again, audiences are generally reasonable and understanding.
This is also providing an opportunity to reinforce your respect for your audience and its members. Answering with integrity and an honest effort to help, you are showing respect for the person asking the question and for the question itself, no matter how awful the question or the motives of the questioner.
That respect is all part of the process of building and maintaining your credibility and your authenticity. And Q&A has given you the opportunity to contribute more to that process. Rather than being a disaster waiting to happen, Q&A becomes a valuable opportunity.
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I don’t particularly like X_Factor videos and the emotional hype that goes with them, but watch this one, and you have to be inspired, especially if you suffer from performance nerves. If this man can do what he did, so successfully, so can you!!
This is a valedictory speech by a student who feared public speaking.
“I’d literally have sweaty palms and a pit in my stomach at the thought of being called on to answer a question in class. The worst part was that I thought I’d always feel that way but thank goodness I finally figured out how to get rid of it and I’ve never felt better about speaking publicly.”
Watch him as he waits through his introduction. It is still evident. Watch, though, as he makes his speech and know that this is one inspirational human being.
He still has a way to go with his speaking, but with an attitude like that, he should go far.
I would love your comments on this speaker and his presentation in the comments below. Especially I would like to hear what advice you would give him on his speaking. I think he would appreciate it.
The first piece of public speaking that I can remember doing was in about the second year of school. Every year of school, we learned several pieces of poetry by rote, wrote them in our best handwriting in our poetry books and recited them together each morning. I loved that poetry – loved the writing, the sound of the words and the way they fitted together in a new form of speaking. But in the second year of school, it was decided that each person in the class would recite the poem to the whole group. We were instructed to stand out the front, in the middle, with our hands clasped together with the finger tips of each hand nestled against the fingers of the other – “cupped” I think, is the word for it.
I don’t remember being nervous, but remember standing there. I don’t remember what the teacher may have said was good about my presentation, but in perverse and fairly normal human style, I have never forgotten being told that I had swayed while I spoke.
And that was the beginning of years of fear of public speaking. Obviously perfection was expected here and obviously, too, my body could not be trusted to be perfect without my strict supervision. By Year seven, the public speaking exercises had graduated to coming to the door of the classroom, knocking and asking “Are you Nelly Reddy?” That was too much! I would discover a sudden need to go to the bathroom –and stay there. It got to the stage where the teacher asked my mother if I was having some sort of health issue!
My love of language and an ability to use it reasonably well meant I built a successful career in public speaking at high school, but always at the expense of suffering horribly from nerves. There was still the expectation of a performance, and the degree of perfection against a set of criteria was always forefront in every experience.
I have worked hard over the intervening years to overcome the fear, because despite it all, I still love public speaking. And one of the best feelings these days is the feeling of being able to stand confidently on a stage and have a conversation with the audience. Another best feeling is knowing that that is the common trend in public speaking today as well. I watch “Show and Tell” in primary school and watch as the teachers make each child feel comfortable, supported, encouraged and never judged. I read about public speaking and see the growing number of people discussing this need to be perfect and what a burden it is, and how unnecessary.
The concept I love most is the idea of the performance/perfectionism as placing a wall between yourself as a speaker and your audience. Perhaps it should be refereed to as a screen, in the way that a screen holds a movie or video separate from its audience.
And of course the antidote is to break down the wall, take yourself out of the screen and see yourself as having a conversation with your audience. You can be so much more authentic as you be yourself in conversation rather than a performing persona. You can be so much more engaging as you interact, in conversation, with your audience. And as a speaking consultant I can now encourage my clients to be themselves – their best selves, mind you, but still their authentic selves.
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication. please do. but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Stand with your weight on the balls of your feet, not on your heels.
The grounded balance will give you a firm base for confidence and from which to develop the most effective body language and gestures.
Your mouth is dry, heart palpitating, and knees knocking. You go into panic, facing a dreaded public speaking assignment.
It doesn’t have to be so.
These five tips will give you some strategies to overcome those symptoms and have the butterflies flying in formation.
1. Deep breathing will pull in oxygen. Adrenalin, secreted to help you deal with the fear brought on by little doubts, causes breaths to become shallow, or causes you to hold your breath. Deep breathing will help your brain work to capacity, and forcing the slower pace will quell the panic.
2. Bluff. Stand tall, with shoulders back and chest out. Smile. Even though you don’t feel happy or confident, do it anyway. You will look confident and your body will fool your brain into thinking it is confident. This really works!!
Bluff – body and smile
3. Keep you mouth and throat hydrated. Plan to keep a drink on hand while you are speaking., though this sounds impossible. Visualising how you will use it if you need it, and calling up the audacity to do such a thing will carry across to your attitude as you take your place to speak, placing your glass just where you need it to be.
4. Adrenalin sends the blood rushing to the fight/flight centres of your brain at the base of the skull. Place your hand on your forehead and press gently on the bony points. This will bring the blood to the parts of the brain that need it to present your speech best.
5. Know you are prepared. Obviously this depends on actually being prepared, so take every opportunity in the days leading up to the speech to prepare your material. Be familiar with the structure of the presentation, and the ideas to use. Memorise the most important parts, and the parts you are frightened of forgetting. I would memorise the opening of the speech and in the moments before presenting it, would reassure myself that I knew that part, and that would lead on to the rest. It worked!!
…………………………………………….
©Bronwyn Ritchie
If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. Get her 30 speaking tips FREE and boost your public speaking mastery over 30 weeks. Go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
For my eBook on Overcoming public speaking nerves, visit http://bit.ly/NEKghl
It’s embarrassing for the nervous speaker and it’s embarrassing for the audience – those awkward, horrible moments when something goes wrong, something embarrassing happens. They are an experience neither the audience nor the speaker wants to have to endure.
Here are four situations where you can smooth out those embarrassing moments … and a powerful strategy to use in the future.
1. The mental blank That terrible moment when someone loses complete track of what they are saying – there is a blank, their face drops, and then becomes more and more frantic. This is painful not only for the speaker but for the audience. Develop a strategy now so that if, despite your best preparations, a blank happens, you have something to say. You could remark, “Oops I’ve lost it” and maybe you can add some appropriate humour (“Must have left the speech in front of the mirror!”) and then add something like “Now where was I?” Look at your notes if necessary – “We were talking about …” If it’s really bad, ask the audience. Whatever strategy you use along these lines, you keep the audience, and yourself, moving on, returning to target and none of you is embarrassed. So if you fear the blank moment, be prepared with a strategy that will allow you to deal smoothly with the situation.
2. The audience is bored It’s a moment that nervous speakers dread – to realise that most of your audience is bored. They’re glassy eyed, maybe even falling asleep, chatting or texting on their mobile hones. Horrors! Worse still and more embarrassing is the presenter who becomes frantic, attempting to regain attention. Avoid the whole situation if you can by ensuring you have variety wired into your presentation, and have something up your sleeve that you can move into if necessary. Introduce a new visual. Involve the audience. Change your stance, body language or walking pattern. Stop. Stand still. Whatever you use, it will become a smooth, professional piece of your presentation instead of a situation that embarrasses you and your audience.
3. Dry mouth Do you have a persistent dry mouth? Then take a glass of water with you. Before the speech, organise a place to put it and then choose a time where you can drink without interrupting the flow of your speech. Incorporate this into the planning of your presentation and your visualisation of your successful presentation. If it does interrupt, then find a way to explain it, incorporate it, or joke about it.
4. Those other embarrassing physical symptoms The same applies to anything else you expect might embarrass you or detract from your speech. If you cannot overcome the physical symptoms in the lead up to the speech, then these are the ones you need to develop strategies for. And use this same set of tactics for any other symptoms like blushing or shakes – if they detract from your speech – find a way to explain it, incorporate it or joke about it.
Then you will have defused any embarrassment that you feel or your audience feels. In all of these situations where you might make mistakes or have a mishap, there is one underlying powerful principle that works to avoid embarrassment: “It doesn’t matter what happens. What matters is how you deal with what happens.” It really does not matter!. The embarrassment for everyone lies not in the event itself, but in how you respond to it. So instead of being embarrassed, respond, instead, with professionalism and confidence.
Be as prepared as you can for whatever may arise, and be prepared to explain, incorporate or joke if something does happen. Then you will have been able to deal with it, confidently and professionally – without embarrassment. The added bonus? You are reducing your nervousness and increasing your confidence in the process.
……………………………………………
©Bronwyn Ritchie
If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. Get her 30 speaking tips FREE and boost your public speaking mastery over 30 weeks. Go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
101 Secrets of Highly Effective Speakers: Controlling Fear, Commanding Attention
Ron L. Krannich
Controlling fear. Commanding attention
…covers every aspect of public speaking, and should go a long way in reassuring novices they are adequately prepared. — Today’s Librarian
If you are moving to build your public speaking confidence, the first thing to do is to plan what you will do over the coming weeks and months. Set yourself some goals and create a list of things to do to get to those goals – “an action plan.”
One way to break down the major goal into smaller, more achievable ones is to try out your strategies in safer environments, before you actually face an audience. For example, take note of how you conduct a conversation – with strangers in particular, maybe a shop keeper, bus conductor, or a person to whom you are introduced at a party or function. The communication and confidence strategies you find yourself using naturally can be used in your public speaking as well. And if you want to improve the communication skills and the confidence, try practicing some of the strategies you intend to use in public speaking, in those conversations. Two especially important skills to practice here are eye contact and a confident approach.
You can also use the same process when you have to leave a telephone message. It is an excellent way of speaking with a purpose, where you may be nervous of making a bad impression. You need to prepare what to say, and you need to present it in an audible, pleasant manner – just as you would for a speech or presentation. Again, here is a chance to develop things you can use again and again so that they come naturally every time.
You can also practise by creating voice mail messages for yourself or your workplace. Here again, the challenge is to convey a certain image – and confidence will be part of it. You can work through preparing the message, practising it and presenting it. This will develop confidence that you can use in presenting a speech.
Finally, find audiences on whom you can practise – the family pet first (!), then your human family or colleagues who are prepared to help. The best practice you will get is if you join a public speaking organisation. Most are excellent, but I recommend POWERtalk because that is the organisation I belong to – but at any club you will have a supportive audience, positive feedback and training to extend what you are learning from me.
Please don’t forget that everyone has setbacks and these are part of your journey to success. And remember, too, that nerves are good – channel them into producing a great presentation.
Author: Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, confident and sucessful, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Mental preparation is a vital part of the process of overcoming the fear of public speaking. It is one of four processes successful speakers use to make sure they lose their fear and use their nerves for success.
The first step is to acknowledge that the fear is normal.
1. A huge range of successful people like Helen Hayes, Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Lisa Minnelli and Sydney Poitier are known to have suffered from nerves.
2. And there was the published survey that identified public speaking as Americans’ number one fear. This reinforces the fact that you are not in a minority, you are not a freak or a failure, but part of a huge group who all feel the same – normal!
3. Seinfeld quipped that if people fear public speaking more than death, then therefore they would rather be in the coffin than making the eulogy. It is so common that Seinfeld jokes about it! It is a natural, normal response – the body’s way of coping with a challenge.
It may be that you have reasons in your past or from within your family that build the fear, and send your body into the fight/flight response. It may be that, like me, you need to run adrenalin to stay alert and focused. It may be that you are not confident socially and need to build confidence to speak.
Whatever the cause, this is a normal response to that cause and accepting that this is just a normal response, and not your own personal, horrible secret, means that you can acknowledge it, and start to treat it, overcome it
This process of looking at your fear/nerves and identifying their source/s is a major step towards overcoming them. Often people don’t articulate what it is they fear, or where the fear comes from. If you can do that, then you have something concrete you can tackle, and a way to move forward. Find the root of the fear or nerves, tease it out so that you understand it and then use logic to deal with it.
The third mental technique is to accept that, for whatever reason, you are running adrenalin, so you might as well use it. Make it work for you. Channel it to create excitement and enthusiasm. These give power to your speech and you can speak with rapid-fire enthusiasm, or hold attention with power pause.
The excitement and enthusiasm will also work with other strategies to build a strong confidence.
You can use the enthusiasm to reinforce positive self-talk. Whether you call them mantras or call them affirmations, choose positive statements beforehand, to say to yourself to keep yourself positive. Or you can create them at the time. They too, will reinforce your confidence.
Combine these with a fifth technique – visualization. Very early in the preparation for your speech or presentation, visualize yourself leaving your seat, walking to the stage/podium, greeting the audience – all with calm confidence and enthusiasm. Watch it and experience how it feels. Then, as you progress, visualise, too, and feel, all of the aspects of your presentation – the sections of the speech, any prepared movements, and any visuals. See every one of these occurring successfully and see your confidence permeating every one. This may sound very impractical, but it works for me, and did, long before I really knew I was doing it. I just see it as part of my preparation – then, once prepared, it’s something I don’t have to think about at the time.
And,of course, if you do prepare well, in as much detail as possible, and use visualization as part of the process, then that in itself will give you confidence. Being able to reassure yourself that you are prepared is a major confidence builder, and you can use it as one of your reassuring, positive statements. “I am prepared. I have every aspect covered. I have nothing to worry about.”
You will have accepted the nerves as normal. You will have found their cause/s and used that as a foundation to build strategies for success. You will have mentally prepared for each part of your presentation. You will have learned to channel the nerves into power for your presentation. The processes of mental preparation will be a powerful part of your success in overcoming the fear of public speaking
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, confident and sucessful, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
That terrible moment when someone loses complete track of what they are saying – there is a blank, their face drops, and then becomes more and more frantic. This is painful not only for the speaker but for the audience.
Develop a strategy now so that if, despite your best preparations, a blank happens, you have something to say. You could remark, “Oops I’ve lost it” and maybe you can add some appropriate humour (“Must have left the speech in front of the mirror!”) and then add something like “Now where was I?”
Look at your notes if necessary – “We were talking about …”
If it’s really bad, ask the audience.
Whatever strategy you use along these lines, you keep the audience, and yourself, moving on, returning to target and none of you is embarrassed. So if you fear the blank moment, be prepared with a strategy that will allow you to deal smoothly with the situation.
One of the most powerful sources of confidence in public speaking is knowing that you are prepared. During the nervous stages, you can continually reassure yourself that you are prepared and can visualise all the aspects of the successful presentation that you have prepared. As far as I am concerned, this will provide the major part of your confidence.
Probably one of the greatest sources of nerves is the fear of having a mental blank. Sometimes they happen but being prepared will prevent most of them.
Each person has their own way of keeping track of what they have to say – of remembering it. Some people memorise the whole presentation. Some people read the whole speech. Both of these have their advantages and disadvantages. But most people create a compromise and, if possible, use notes.
Two very important parts of your speech are the opening and the closing. If you memorise those you can be sure you will use the words you chose for the greatest impact, and you can concentrate on delivery and especially on eye contact. You can choose to read them, but you will need to find other ways of giving them power. You probably should also memorise the punch lines of your jokes, and any words you are quoting verbatim.
If you use notes, make them large enough to read at a glance. Find a way to keep them in order and number the pages in case they do get mixed up. Make symbols or punctuation marks for ways you want to present e.g. pauses, facial expressions. And before you present, choose the sections you can comfortably cull if you find you have less time than expected.
Rehearsal is vitally important. You will develop your own system, but here is an example of a schedule.
Despite what you may have written, say the speech in a style that is as close to conversation as your event or function will allow. Written and spoken language are entirely different.
Say the speech straight through, full of mistakes and corrections. This allows you to find the areas that need work.
Record the speech, or say it to a mirror or use a substitute audience (the family pet will do if there’s no one else suitable!) This gives you a feel for creating communication and impact.
Have a dress rehearsal. Wear the clothes you will wear so you know what works best and how to cope with the outfit. Practice with any visuals you intend to use.
Make very sure you can keep your speech or presentation to an acceptable time.
Final preparation countdown for the event itself:
– Confirm the time and date
– Create and check any handouts
– Make a packing list and check it at the last minute. e.g. handouts, — white board markers, handkerchief (yes, Mum!)
– Arrive early so that you can make sure you are prepared and can then go through your Preparation Routine
– Contact the liaison person to confirm details
– Unpack. Make sure you have water handy and that any equipment is set up and that it works as you expect it to, or become familiar with the equipment provided.
I can only reiterate that one of the best antidotes to the fear of public speaking is the reassurance that you are prepared.
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, confident and sucessful, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Your mouth is dry, heart palpitating, and knees knocking. You go into panic, facing a dreaded public speaking assignment.
It doesn’t have to be so.
These five tips will give you some strategies to overcome those symptoms and have the butterflies flying in formation.
1. Deep breathing will pull in oxygen. Adrenalin, secreted to help you deal with the fear brought on by little doubts, causes breaths to become shallow, or causes you to hold your breath. Deep breathing will help your brain work to capacity, and forcing the slower pace will quell the panic.
2. Bluff. Stand tall, with shoulders back and chest out. Smile. Even though you don’t feel happy or confident, do it anyway. You will look confident and your body will fool your brain into thinking it is confident. This really works!!
Bluff – body and smile
3. Keep you mouth and throat hydrated. Plan to keep a drink on hand while you are speaking., though this sounds impossible. Visualising how you will use it if you need it, and calling up the audacity to do such a thing will carry across to your attitude as you take your place to speak, placing your glass just where you need it to be.
4. Adrenalin sends the blood rushing to the fight/flight centres of your brain at the base of the skull. Place your hand on your forehead and press gently on the bony points. This will bring the blood to the parts of the brain that need it to present your speech best.
5. Know you are prepared. Obviously this depends on actually being prepared, so take every opportunity in the days leading up to the speech to prepare your material. Be familiar with the structure of the presentation, and the ideas to use. Memorise the most important parts, and the parts you are frightened of forgetting. I would memorise the opening of the speech and in the moments before presenting it, would reassure myself that I knew that part, and that would lead on to the rest. It worked!!
For my eBook on Overcoming public speaking nerves, visit http://bit.ly/NEKghl
Stretch to relax. Rise on your toes and reach for the ceiling, with your head back. Tighten your muscles from legs up through abdomen, and then release. Relax the neck and shoulder muscles, letting head loll on neck in different directions.
Breathe to relax. Stand erect, but relaxed and balanced. Inhale while silently counting to five. Hold the breath for five counts, then exhale for five – all breathing is through the mouth. Your diaphragm should move, but your chest should not expand. You can gradually increase the number of counts for each breath to 10.
Relax your Jaw. Let your head loll forward. As you raise it, keep your jaw relaxed. Let it hang open, and smile to yourself at how silly it feels.
Relax your throat. Yawn …. This is how your throat needs to be to speak well – open, and relaxed.
Keep relaxing the muscles throughout your body, your jaw, neck and throat until you walk to the presentation area. Then smile! and begin.
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication, please do, but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to being admired, rehired as a speaker, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
The virtue of all achievement is victory over oneself. Those who know this can never know defeat.
A. J. Cronin
(Overcome your fear of public speaking, and WIN!!)
The first piece of public speaking that I can remember doing was in about the second year of school. Every year of school, we learned several pieces of poetry by rote, wrote them in our best handwriting in our poetry books and recited them together each morning. I loved that poetry – loved the writing, the sound of the words and the way they fitted together in a new form of speaking. But in the second year of school, it was decided that each person in the class would recite the poem to the whole group. We were instructed to stand out the front, in the middle, with our hands clasped together with the finger tips of each hand nestled against the fingers of the other – “cupped” I think, is the word for it.
I don’t remember being nervous, but remember standing there. I don’t remember what the teacher may have said was good about my presentation, but in perverse and fairly normal human style, I have never forgotten being told that I had swayed while I spoke.
And that was the beginning of years of fear of public speaking. Obviously perfection was expected here and obviously, too, my body could not be trusted to be perfect without my strict supervision. By Year seven, the public speaking exercises had graduated to coming to the door of the classroom, knocking and asking “Are you Nelly Reddy?” That was too much! I would discover a sudden need to go to the bathroom –and stay there. It got to the stage where the teacher asked my mother if I was having some sort of health issue!
My love of language and an ability to use it reasonably well meant I built a successful career in public speaking at high school, but always at the expense of suffering horribly from nerves. There was still the expectation of a performance, and the degree of perfection against a set of criteria was always forefront in every experience.
I have worked hard over the intervening years to overcome the fear, because despite it all, I still love public speaking. And one of the best feelings these days is the feeling of being able to stand confidently on a stage and have a conversation with the audience. Another best feeling is knowing that that is the common trend in public speaking today as well. I watch “Show and Tell” in primary school and watch as the teachers make each child feel comfortable, supported, encouraged and never judged. I read about public speaking and see the growing number of people discussing this need to be perfect and what a burden it is, and how unnecessary.
The concept I love most is the idea of the performance/perfectionism as placing a wall between yourself as a speaker and your audience. Perhaps it should be refereed to as a screen, in the way that a screen holds a movie or video separate from its audience.
And of course the antidote is to break down the wall, take yourself out of the screen and see yourself as having a conversation with your audience. You can be so much more authentic as you be yourself in conversation rather than a performing persona. You can be so much more engaging as you interact, in conversation, with your audience. And as a speaking consultant I can now encourage my clients to be themselves – their best selves, mind you, but still their authentic selves.
© Bronwyn Ritchie If you want to include this article in your publication. please do. but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer. She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years’ experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In just 6 months time, you could be well on the way to admired, rehired as a speaker, with the 30 speaking tips. Click here for 30 speaking tips for FREE. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Once you can identify the causes that are underlying your public speaking nerves and fear, you can choose the strategies you need to build your confidence, use the fear and present successfully.
Most people suffer from some fear of public speaking. The survey that identified it as America’s number one fear was accurate then and remains so today. But the causes of that fear can differ from person to person.
One of the most important steps towards overcoming the fear of public speaking is to identify the things in your life that have created the fear and then choose the strategies that relate to those causes and that will conquer the fear and allow you to harness it to enhance your presentations and speeches, not destroy them.
So let’s list some of the factors that underlie the fear of public speaking and see which ones apply to you.
The first on the list is the fact that fear of public speaking can run in families. I’m not sure if there is a genetic cause for this but I do know that if you have seen your parents or a family member speaking or performing confidently in public, then you will most likely see it as something you can do too. But if you see fear and aversion to public speaking then you will probably adopt that as part of your culture as well.
The second factor lies in the way your brain functions. It may be that your brain is not functioning in a way that builds confidence. It is possible that the neurotransmitters that allow your brain to transfer information are not operating as they should
Previous personal experience can affect our confidence in any situation. Teasing of any sort can destroy confidence and if it was associated with public speaking then any chance of future confidence in public speaking will be shattered. Thoughtlessly expressed criticism can do the same. A teacher, peer or parent can destroy confidence with unthinking negative comments.
Beliefs. Many people’s fear of public speaking is founded in the belief that they are responsible for always creating a positive impression … and its corollary that if they do not create this wonderful impression then they have created a disaster. Your family, your peers and your associates, not to mention the media, can all contribute to this expectation of any situation. So if you feel an unreal demand on you in terms of the need to create a great impression then anything you do in public will be fraught with anxiety.
Because people fear public speaking they then set up systems to avoid it. Any opportunity is met with avoidance, rather than either a positive expectation, or a confident attempt that could be the basis of development. And then that avoidance becomes a habit – it self-perpetuates.
So … did any of those scenarios strike a chord with you and your experiences? Did you recognise any of them acting in your life? It may even be that more than one of these factors is present in creating your fear of public speaking. Rest assured, though, that for each, there are strategies that can be used to overcome it. Use them in conjunction with some other processes and you have a strong, guaranteed basis for developing confidence and skill in public speaking.
(c) Bronwyn Ritchie
If you want to include this article in your publication. please do. but please include the following information with it:
Bronwyn Ritchie is a professional librarian, writer, award-winning speaker and trainer.
She is a certified corporate trainer and speech contest judge with POWERtalk International, a certified World Class Speaking coach, and has had 30 years experience speaking to audiences and training in public speaking. In 30 weeks time, you could be 3 times the speaker you are now. Click here for Bronwyn’s FREE 30 speaking tips. Join now or go to http://www.30speakingtips.com
Afraid of public speaking? Fear is always a symptom of an underlying attitude in your inner life. Here are some of the most common reasons why: => http://bit.ly/sWwO1W
Natalie Rogers
The New TalkPower is a mind-body system that integrates neurobiology, behavior modification, performance techniques, speech crafting and leadership skills to help you master every aspect of public speaking — from gracious toasts to great speeches.
“The foundation of confidence in virtually every field is preparation.” —Brian Tracy
One of the most valuable antidotes to the fear of public speaking and public speaking nerves is to be prepared.
Preparedness and its relation to confidence covers many aspects.
And one of the most powerful is what I call “scouting the territory.”
If at all possible, arrive at the venue early and make it your own. Walk the walk you will make to the stage or lectern. Walk around the room and make yourself comfortable with your surroundings.
Make sure any equipment is prepared and become familiar with how it will work for you and your speech, and what the options are.
If the room could be set up better to suit your presentation, then organize to have that done, if possible.
The most important thing is to feel comfortable with those surroundings … feel confident walking, standing, looking. later, when you are visualizing our presentation, you can include that feeling of confidence as you visualise yourself in the surroundings where you will present. Visualise the confident walk. Visualise yourself confidently using the space. And visualise yourself confidently presenting, and successfully incorporating any equipment.
Conquer Your Fear of Public Speaking
Let’s begin by hearkening back to a time when Romans considered it to be good sport to feed Christians to the lions. One day, the festivities had been going as usual when a strange thing happened. The Christian in the arena whispered something to the lion. The lion then turned tail and slunk away.
The crowd was amazed. The Emperor was impressed. He let it be known that he would spare the Christian’s life if the man would reveal the secret of what he had said to the lion.
The Christian was brought before the Emperor. In a powerful voice, he said, “I told him he would have to say a few words after dinner.”
The lion’s reaction should not surprise anyone who has been asked to “say a few words.” If you are like most people, a jolt of adrenaline courses through your body, your heart beats a bit faster, and your breathing becomes shallow. It’s possible, too, that your palms get sweaty, your knees feel like Jell-O, and your mind goes blank.
Some years ago, The Sunday Times of London published a list of people’s greatest fears. The fear of public speaking took first place, while “death” placed seventh. Though I don’t really believe that most people would rather die than speak, I have had clients say to me, “But you only die once!”
… read more => http://bit.ly/pAQ3HF
Do you “feel the fear” when asked to do some public speaking?
Public speaking is still one of our greatest fears and it turns grown men and women into nervous wrecks. The mere thought of it turns our tongue to cotton wool, causes our internal plumbing to act up and turns our knees to jelly.
Well, there’s no need for all of this because help is at hand. All you need to remember are your P’s and Q’s. Let’s start with the P’s …. http://bit.ly/r1vKFB
You CAN feel comfortable in the spotlight. Conquer your anxieties and channel your energy into a better public performance.
Would you like to:
Speak in front of large audiences without being nervous?
Prepare for any public performance?
Learn to enjoy the spotlight?
Remain focused and “in the moment” while on stage?
Become more effective in group meetings?
Lose stage fright?
Perform to your true potential?
If you truly want to be able to perform to your maximum potential, then Overcoming Performance Anxiety can help you.
Using award-winning hypnosis techniques created by Dr. Shirley McNeal, Overcoming Performance Anxiety will help you perform at your absolute best. Whether you are delivering a speech, playing an instrument, singing, talking to a small group or acting, this program will help you perform to your maximum potential.
The powerful hypnosis techniques in this three-session program will help you relax and guide you to a state of hypnotic trance opening your subconscious mind to empowering suggestions designed to help create an ideal state for public performances. You’ll feel deeply relaxed and safe as you move towards a greater sense of public speaking and performance-related confidence.
Isn’t it time for you to learn to love the spotlight and get rid of those sweaty palms?
According to cognitive theorists, our thinking process can be divided into three levels and they are referred to as negative automatic thoughts (NATs). The negative thoughts are hidden beneath our core beliefs, assumptions or principles. NATs are also said to be the string of consciousness. These ideas are experienced by a person in a particular kind of situation leading to emotional distress. A person can become aware of these ideas or thoughts by asking questions like “what your mind is thinking”?
Many times our mind triggers fears and anxieties in relation to a particular situation that actually has little or no significance in reality. For instance, an experienced public speaker who had been performing excellent for many years, he may all of a sudden feel dreaded that what if he forgets his speech in the middle of the event. He knows that it’s not the first time he will be giving a public speech but somehow this gets triggered out. But as our mind can create these negative feelings, it can also overcome them.
How is this applicable to a public speaker? You as a public speaker can overcome negative feelings that you experience at the time of public speaking. You can transform the fearful thoughts into positive ones following simple steps.
1. Become aware of your negative feelings or emotions: Most of these thoughts occur at mind’s subconscious, so taking them to conscious level is important. By being conscious of these thoughts, you can turn them into positive thoughts. Repeat words that boost your confidence, such as “I am a good speaker and people want to hear me. I will share my experience and skill and have an excellent time.” By doing this, you will reinforce your positive emotions.
2. Visualize your success at public speaking: Evoke your imaginative power, shut your eyes and visualize yourself at the place, addressing audience. Imagine them agreeing to your points and smiling at you. Picture yourself as delivering your speech with confidence, passion, and clarity and with a smile on face. At the end, imagine all of them giving you a standing ovation or a loud applause. Imagine them coming to you after the event is over to say you thanks for giving such a wonderful speech.
3. Prepare yourself physically for the event: Hum any of your favorite songs while going for the final presentation. Take deep breaths. Massage your back, neck, chest and shoulders and continue doing deep breathing. It will relax your tension and stop it from affecting your voice.
Author, Prerana Maheshrajka is a Senior Content developer at ARSWebTech. http://www.arswebtech.com
The Confident Speaker: Beat Your Nerves and Communicate at Your Best in Any Situation
Harrison Monarth
EAN:978-0071481496
Format: Paperback
Publisher: McGraw-Hill Professional
Published in: United States
Published: April 2007
Banish the fear of public speaking and become a world-class communicator – in a meeting of five, or at a conference of a thousand. Combining breakthrough research on how to conquer speaking anxieties with battle-tested strategies, Larina Kase and Harrison Monarth will give you the confidence and skills to become a world-class speaker in any situation. Using real-world scenarios and powerful tools, the authors help you banish your fear of public speaking and unleash your innate powers of persuasion. ‘Packed with simple, enjoyable, workable ways to overcome speaking anxiety and project a strong persona’ – Dottie Walters, C.S.P., author of “Speak and Grow Rich”. => http://bit.ly/iF2mP3
This book is an antacid for knots, butterflies and pains which often accompany public speaking efforts. Text includes personal prescriptions for confidence, success and happiness from Zig Ziglar, Erma Bombeck, Hugh Downs, Cary Grant, Ann Landers, Rod McKuen, Norman Vincent Peale and others. It tells how to eliminate anguish, frustration and embarrassment when speaking in public. This is a classic by an award-winning speaker and it gives step-by-step instructions for healthier self-esteem through better oral communications.
His favorite quote for those who are afraid to accept the challenges of public speaking came from former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
This is an audiocassette. Do you still have a cassette player? If you do, and you want some tips on overcoming your nerves …..
Speaking Without Fear or Nervousness
by Helen Sutton
“Those who cringe at the thought of public speaking may be passing up golden opportunities to showcase their professional expertise and personal talents. This audio program will help listeners take a bold step toward conquering their anxieties once and for all. They’ll uncover self-defeating thoughts, and replace them with positive expectations. Listeners get trusty tips to help them deal with their physical symptoms. Plus they’ll learn practice techniques that help build confidence.”
Are you crippled by nerves or fear of public speaking? Don’t be. There are heaps of ways to overcome those nerves, to face and conquer the fear. This free eBook will give you a broad range and some quotations and ideas to help. Just email me and I will send you a copy.
You will read about, or have heard about, strategies to overcome public speaking nerves. In preparation for implementing those strategies in front of an audience, you can try them out in ordinary, non-threatening situations first.
For example, take note of how you conduct a conversation – with strangers in particular, for example a shop keeper, bus conductor, or a person to whom you are introduced at a party or function. The communication and confidence strategies you find yourself using naturally can be used in your public speaking.
And, conversely, if you want to improve the communication skills and the confidence, try practicing some of the strategies you have been gathering for public speaking, in those conversations.
Let’s face it. Most of us are not comfortable speaking in front of groups, especially when giving formal speeches or presentations. Standing on stage under bright lights, with all those blank faces staring at you, can be incredibly nerve racking. In fact, some people tremble at the mere thought of public speaking.
Did you know the fear of public humiliation is greater than the fear of death? It’s universally true across all cultures. It’s why most people are deathly afraid of public speaking.
Now here’s the paradox. To reach that “next level” of success, socially and professionally, the ability to speak in front of a group is a fundamental necessity. Overcoming this fear will release your untapped potential. It will unlock opportunities that you may currently find unattainable.
One of the most important life skills is communication. Being able to effectively communicate to groups of people gives you an incredible advantage.
Sooner or later you will be presenting. Maybe you need to pitch a proposal at a company meeting… give a sales presentation to prospective clients… or something as simple as voicing your opinion in front of some friends or colleagues. No matter how big or small your audience, the following 5 Tips will help you deliver persuasive, powerful presentations – guaranteed!
…But first thing’s first! I am not a professional speaker. I was no less afraid of public speaking than the next person. When I was young I avoided large groups. They intimidated me. So it wasn’t in my scope of reality to speak to a group of people!
Then as I got older I realized that shyness and greatness don’t mix.
Through training, I overcame that barrier. Not only did I learn to speak in front of a group, I learned how to present. My fear of speaking was replaced with the confidence to deliver impactful presentations to over a hundred people at a time. Now I’m even more comfortable on TV and on camera. So I can say first-hand that applying these skills has absolutely improved my life!
There are a lot of good resources for public speaking. You can find speaking groups, (like Toastmasters), in every major city. It’s a terrific way to develop some speaking skills. But, what I’m about to share with you is far more valuable than speaking skills alone. I’m not going to talk about articulation, creative use of language, vocal variety, filler words, verbal crutches, hand gestures, and other techniques.
Although public speaking techniques are invaluable for giving speeches, presentations are more interactive and often require facilitating audience engagement. When you’re able to deliver captivating presentations, every aspect of your public speaking skills will improve automatically.
The magic of a powerful presentation is in the ability to make an emotional connection and build trust.
This is achieved by creating the proper setting, or [context], which engages your audience as part of your presentation. Logic, facts and figures may build interest and even impress your audience. However, it won’t spark the emotional motivation that decisions are made from. And, it certainly isn’t enough to earn their trust. Win over your audience by speaking to their hearts, not their minds. Remember, presenting is “facilitating a conversation”. It’s not lecturing.
Creating context is how the best speakers in the world influence and inspire. The process can be so subtle that unless you know what to look for, you just think they’re amazing speakers – which of course they are! The point is, it can be duplicated. The process will even give you instant confidence. How’s that for a great by-product?
…Communication is an emotional contact sport. Presenting to groups is no different. The common mistake is to think that presenting is a one-way street.
5 Tips to Connect With Your Audience:
Yes, it’s your audience. And, no matter what you previously thought, “presenting” is two-way communication…even if you’re doing all the talking!
Remember, the majority of all communication is non-verbal. Just because the audience isn’t talking doesn’t mean they’re not communicating with you. You just gotta learn to “listen”.
1. Get Present:
It’s called present-ing for a reason, so be in the now. This is one of the most overlooked factors in giving presentations. It’s so easy to get caught up in your “content” or presentation notes that you may as well be speaking to a wall.
There’s a story of an actress who was having a conversation at a party. She talked about herself for 20 minutes then asked, “Enough about me. How did you like my last movie?”
Yes… you may have the stage, but it’s not all-about-you!
Your audience is consciously or subconsciously looking for [what’s in it for them]. For the most part, they’re watching and listening to you for self-serving reasons. Address those reasons and you’ll get their undivided attention.
Remember, in a presentation you’re directing “a conversation”. Yours is verbal and theirs is non-verbal. Take moments to stay connected to your listeners. Just as you would make eye contact in a one-on-one conversation, continually scan the room and make your audience feel as if you’re talking to them individually. Notice their physical cues and responses during your presentation.
Not everyone has the ability to give a presentation or deliver a speech without using notes, and that’s totally fine. Notes are useful and sometimes necessary, as long as they’re not a crutch. If your face is buried in your notes, you’re not connecting with the audience. That means you’re definitely not present with them.
…Stay connected with your audience by “staying present”.
2. Enroll the Audience:
Enrolling questions are questions that engage listeners into participation. There are 3 main benefits of using enrolling questions in your presentation:
#1- Questions hook the mind. This allows listeners to at least mentally participate in your presentation, not just sit and listen. Remember, you’re leading a conversation and not a lecture. Get them to interact with you by asking questions that will lead into key points of your presentation.
The average adult attention span is probably shorter than the length of your presentation. It’s even shorter with kids. So use questions to get them to focus on your presentation, instead of the gazillion things going on in their personal lives. (Considering the average internet user’s attention span is in the seconds, congratulations! You’re officially above average!)
#2 – Addressing their questions is the way to bridge trust. If your audience doesn’t trust you and thinks you’re just “selling” or manipulating, you’ve already lost them.
Use questions that are relevant to your listeners’ interests. Your goal is 100% enrollment – your entire audience. If one or two people lose interest, it signals others to do the same. It only takes one person to trigger an episode in a group dynamic.
Participation is the key to retention and asking enrolling questions is the secret to participation. So use the universal enrollment question, “How Many Of You…?” (HMOY)
“How Many Of You would like to be a captivating speaker?” “How Many Of You would like to have the confidence of a world class leader?”
Business coaches, motivational speakers and exceptional salesmen all use the universal enrollment question. We’ve all heard these kinds of questions. And facilitated properly, it never gets old. Facilitated properly, it always works.
It’s good to ask 2 questions at a time – one question, and then it’s opposite. This way you get 100% enrollment. For example:
“How Many Of You are comfortable presenting to large groups?” (response)….”Thank You. How Many Of You are not comfortable presenting to large groups?” (response)…”Thank You.”
Of course not everyone will physically participate, even though you’ve asked opposing questions. It’s okay because just asking the question will mentally grab their attention.
Key Point: Asking enrolling questions alone isn’t enough to fully engage the audience into participation. Physically demonstrate the Response You Want. If you want them to raise their hands in answering your questions, raise your hand!
Enthusiasm is contagious! If you raise your hand halfway, most of your audience may only flip their hand up at the wrist. Raise your hand high, with energy and enthusiasm, and the audience will more likely raise their hands at least halfway up. If you’re connected with the audience, they’ll follow your physical commands without resistance. If not, it’s a cue to get present and re-connect. I encourage you to test this!
Another important point when asking enrolling questions is to thank the audience each time they respond. This is an important part of the enrollment process. It will help you gain trust by appreciating your audience.
…Use enrolling questions > Model the response you want > Thank the audience when they participate.
3. Address Their Physical/Mental/Emotional States:
Have you ever shifted in your seat to get comfortable during a lecture? Ever change leg positions or arch your back to stretch while seated? Ever need to take a big deep breath to stay focused and energized?
Of course!…Did you take a deep breath just now?
This is called a state change. While listening to a speaker, we periodically need to “change our state.” We subconsciously do this to release discomfort, or to “refresh” ourselves so our attention doesn’t drift off. As a listener this helps us focus. Now as a speaker, it usually means your audience is bored, uncomfortable or in disagreement with you.
What if you could use state changes to your advantage, instead of something to worry about during your presentation? How valuable would that be for your confidence? Here’s where delivering a presentation gets fun! (Imagine… public speaking can be fun!)
Have you ever been to a seminar and noticed how often the speaker will ask questions to get you to raise your hand?…And every so often they may even get you to stand up or perform some kind of physical movement.
A lot of people associate this with motivational lectures – to get you energized. That’s true, and it’s actually much more. Did you ever think that it’s an integral part of the entire presentation process? In fact, it’s carefully thought out. It’s usually so subtle that most people don’t realize the intent behind it.
Having good content in your presentation may get listeners interested. However, that’s not always enough for them to commit to a decision inspired by your presentation. How you deliver your presentation is everything.
While observing video playback of various seminars, it was discovered that the entire audience would periodically shift in their seats. Here’s why…
Like a computer, your brain is constantly processing information at lightning speed. It’s processing millions of bits of information per second. Your audience is subconsciously picking up tons of information from the words you’re using, your vocal tone, body language, other people in the audience, etc. It processes it all and comes up with an emotional feeling, mental thought, physical sensation, or a combination of the three. This dictates their [energetic state].
This “state” must be constantly addressed in order to retain their attention – more accurately, to retain their interest. Otherwise you’ll lose them through the overwhelming amount of information you’re blasting at them, or merely through sheer boredom.
Just as you periodically need to hit the [refresh button] on your internet browser, the processor in our brains need to be refreshed too! Mental, physical and emotional states are all closely connected. Change one and you simultaneously influence the other two. Studies have shown that the fastest way to change someone’s state is through a physical motion.
Knowing this, you can facilitate state changes in your audience at will, during your presentation. It’s not to be mistaken with manipulation. It’s the secret to keeping your audience focused and engaged.
If you don’t facilitate state changes, your audience will unconsciously do them on their own. And that could mean you’ve momentarily lost them. If you’ve even momentarily lost them, you’re not communicating effectively.
Remember, they’ll only retain about 10% of what you said. But, they’ll always remember how you made them feel!…and most decisions are based on emotions – not logic. Logic is how decisions are later justified.
This is why professional speakers put so much emphasis on how their message is delivered – cause context, (how it’s said) can be more important than content, (what is said).
…Facilitate “state changes” to get keep the audience engaged.
4. Acknowledge & Thank Your Audience:
Everyone has an inner skeptic. It’s healthy, to some degree. But as a speaker, a skeptical audience is intimidating. Unless your audience already knows you, they’re probably skeptical while open-minded at the same time. Those odds can quickly change for you or against you. It can happen faster than you can say (or don’t say) “anything.” So let’s increase those odds in your favor!
A key part of delivering a powerful presentation is to build trust. This includes addressing the audience’s inner skeptic during your presentation. This is commonly known as addressing [WIIFM’s] or What’s In It For Me?
…Meaning, what’s in it for your listeners? You may have something valuable to share, but is it important to them? What are some obvious questions your listeners may have in order to peak their interest and gain their trust?
Many people, understandably, want to avoid controversy and “hot topics” during a presentation. Objections can be scary to face head on, especially when unprepared and under the pressure of a large group! But completely avoiding them during your presentation has been proven to be a huge mistake!
There’s no faster way to lose credibility, and a listener’s interest, than to avoid WIIFM’s and not address obvious objections.
This one point underlines the core reason most people are afraid of public speaking – the universal fear of public humiliation. Ironically, hidden in the fearsome WIIFM’s and objections lies the secret to making quantum leaps in the power of your presentations.
Take the time to anticipate and prepare for major WIIFM’s and objections. Even if nobody verbalizes them, someone is thinking about them. And if someone is thinking about them, others probably are too. And if your audience is thinking about their objections instead of listening to your presentation, they may be in disagreement with you. Which means you’ve momentarily lost the connection.
WIIFM’s and objections may or may not be the same. A listener may not have any objections but simply aren’t interested cause they don’t see any personal relevance, (WIIFM). Or, someone can be interested and engaged while being skeptical (sees the relevance but has objections).
Either way, making an emotional connection is the key to a powerful presentation. Why do you think testimonials have proven to be more effective than selling facts and features?
I can’t tell you how powerful it is to address WIIFM’s and objections during your presentation. It skyrockets your credibility and further engages your audience for a fantastic presentation.
Remember, it’s imperative to thank your audience for their time and participation….Not just at the end of your presentation, but throughout your entire presentation. It’s a natural human need to feel valued. Extend your audience’s trust by genuinely appreciating them.
…Acknowledge the audience’s WIIFM’s and major objections.
…Thank them for their time, participation, and/or money.
5. Call To Action:
Depending on the kind of presentation you’re giving, a “call to action” is whatever your intentions are for your audience. For example: to get their contact information to build your prospective client list, to schedule future appointments, to make an immediate sale, etc.
This is the time to “close” your presentation and get the results you’re intending. You’ve informed, inspired, and added value to your listeners. Your presentation has prepped them for this moment…now what?
Generally, the audience still needs direction. At this point they probably realize the potential value you’re offering. In fact, if you’ve addressed the WIIFM’s and made the emotional connection, they can’t wait for you to tell them what to do next! That’s exactly the win-win you’re looking for.
Keep in mind that most people follow the group dynamic. Without clear guidance, they may scatter or just follow the masses. So, where do you want the masses to go? A common mistake is not providing a simple and clear call to action. I’ve seen so many good presentations go bad because of a lack of definitive next steps.
…Provide a simple and clear call-to-action.
Summary:
By no means is this article a ‘complete guide’ to delivering powerful presentations. It’s not possible to stuff advanced material into one article. That being said, implementing this process into your presentations will yield outstanding results – guaranteed!
There isn’t necessarily an “order” to this process. These tips are to be applied throughout your entire presentation. Using this methodology, you’ll be able to take your presentation towards a professional, world-class level!
Get Present
Enroll the Audience
Address the Audience’s Energetic State
Acknowledgement and Thanks
Call to Action
Next time you watch a professional speaker or top salesman, you’ll recognize these powerful tips that you’ve just learned. Best of all, now you can consciously duplicate this proven process and implement them as your own.
Professional training doesn’t always have to cost a lot of money, (like it did for ‘some people’). In this case it only costs you an investment in time! Congratulations and good luck! You won’t need it: )
Continue to discover the power of your untapped potential!
We all have so called inner demons or deep-rooted emotions that may have a negative effect on our lives. Most people try and hide or suppress them. However, only by overcoming them and [taming] them can we turn those “inner dragons” into something positive.
In many cases our biggest challenges can become our greatest strengths. We just need to have the courage to face our “dragons” and the tools to tame them. Explore the blog and share your thoughts, experiences, suggestions.
Thanks!
http://stevesdragon.com/
Overcoming fear of public speaking can involve accepting that, for whatever reason, you are running adrenalin, so you might as well use it.
Channel it to create excitement and enthusiasm which will boost your confidence.
Speak quickly with enthusiasm, or hold attention with power pause, but combined with other techniques, this channeling will build a strong confidence.
A huge range of successful people like Helen Hayes, Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Lisa Minnelli and Sydney Poitier are known to have suffered from nerves.
The published survey that identified public speaking as Americans’ number one fear also shows that you are not in a minority, you are not a freak or a failure, but part of a huge group.
Seinfeld quipped that if people fear public speaking more than death, then they would rather be in the coffin
than making the eulogy. It is so common that Seinfeld jokes about it! It is a natural, normal response – the
body’s way of coping with a challenge.
It may be that you have reasons in your past or your family that build the fear, and your body has gone into the
fight/flight response. It may be that, like me, you need to run adrenalin to stay alert and focused. It may be that you are not confident socially and need to build confidence to speak.
Whatever the reason, it is a normal response to that reason and accepting that this is just a normal response,
and not your own personal, horrible secret, means that you can acknowledge it, and start to treat it, overcome
it.
It may have taken you days or weeks to prepare for your presentation, and it all could be ruined in an instant because of your nerves. Learn the following 7 simple techniques, and you’ll defeat your public-speaking nerves for good and become the most confident person in the room.